"Let's hide under the house," Wu Jiang said, "we can play a ball game there."

"What kind of ball game?" Xiao asked.

"Put it this way, in the future, you'll think of me every time you play ball."

Feng Xiao loved playing ball-all kinds of ball-soccer, bouncing balls, kick balls, toss the ball and even the American game of basketball. He couldn't imagine any ball games better than those.

"Did you invent a new ball game?" Feng Xiao asked.

"Yes! It's better and a lot more fun. Come follow me." Wu Jiang kicked off his shoes, tugged off his socks, and crouching on his elbows and knees, propelled himself halfway under XiaoXiao's house.

Xiao watched Jiang's butt. Chen Shin-Ru doesn't excite me like she excites the other boys. Why does Jiang excite me so?

Xiao didn't know what to do. Wu Jiang was his best friend, but Jiang was also a troublemaker. Jiang's parents called him a mischievous little boy but Xiao always felt braver when he was with him. Perhaps it was because there was something special about Wu Jiang, something Xiao wanted in his own life. Jiang thinks for himself, he makes his own decisions-right or wrong, he doesn't listen to the party or to his parents. It's wrong, but . . .

"Hurry!"

Xiao kicked off his shoes and tugged off his week-old unwashed socks. He didn't want to listen to his inner voice any longer; he wanted to have fun. He listened carefully for his grandmother's slippered steps on the dirt floor above him; he listened for the sound of water splashing in the bucket in the kitchen; he listened for the sound of the clock ticking in his parents' room; he listened for the cat's purring; he listened for the dust falling from the table to the floor. Then he prayed to hear something; he prayed to hear anything. He didn't want anyone to know where he was going and he didn't want to be disturbed. He wanted to be part of an adventure; he wanted to be part of Wu Jiang's life.

"Jiang, where are you?" Xiao whispered.

"Here, Xiao, crawl over here-on your belly like a snake but be quiet for God's sakes."

Xiao crawled, wondering why his friend had called him a snake, wondering if he had done anything wrong . . . wondering what fun he would have when he reached Jiang.

"Don't look up until I tell you," Wu giggled.

"I won't," Xiao whispered as he crawled on his hands and knees, listening to the chickens clucking behind his granny's house.

"You're almost here. Are you ready for the ball game?"

I'm as ready as I'll ever be, Xiao thought as he reached the ledge dividing his granny's secret cellar from the crawlspace under her house. XiaoXiao had originally dug a pit under her house during the war, and she survived when others perished because she'd hidden enough supplies to support her family. Now the space was empty, however, because times were good and there was no longer any need to hide food under the house. Xiao slipped into the pit and looked at his friend. What he saw made the tool in his pants double in size. Wu Jiang was sitting strip stark naked, wearing nothing but the smile on his face.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Xiao asked. "Have you lost your mind?"

"No, but I think you're going to love the ball game I invented," Jiang said as he hoisted up the two loveliest balls Feng Xiao had ever seen-smooth globular thick and heavy, supported in an effervescent sack.

Feng Xiao's penis hardened, they're just like mine, Xiao thought.

"Are you ready to play? I figured out several new things to do by myself, but now I want to share the fun."

"I don't know," Xiao said convinced he wanted to try, but pretending to be shocked. "What do you mean?"

"This," Jiang said, as he gently lifted his ballsack away from his body. "And this," Jiang rubbed his thin brown fingers up and down his penis. "Try it. It's like rubbing your fingers up and down a pickle, but in time your little pickle will make you feel like you've gone to heaven, especially after you've done it a few dozen times."

A few dozen times! I tried it once and loved it-why is Jiang telling me it took him a dozen times? Is he retarded?

"Sure," Xiao said, "let me try-but can you teach me?"

Wu Jiang's hand reached down, caressing Xiao's penis, playing with his small tight balls. "Someday, you may be as big as me," Jiang said, "and then I'll love you and take you as my wife."

"Shhhhh. What are you saying. Men don't marry men; that's illegal."

"Most good things are illegal, but my daddy says 'as long as you pay the tax man, you can do anything you want.'"

Xiao reached out his hand and caressed Jiang's cock, rubbing it up and down until it hardened and thickened twice as big as his own. Almost immediately it erupted in Xiao's hand. Xiao had never seen this fluid before and stood horrified.

Xiao stepped back, clunking his head on the floor joists above him. "What have I done? Did I hurt you? Are you okay?"

"I'm better than okay," Jiang said, "let me show you what it feels like."

A few minutes later, Xiao was lying on his back. He knew he would remember this day forever. Today he had become a man.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Feng XiaoXiao, Xiao's grandmother, stood in the doorway shouting his name, "Xiao, come, eat, come, eat" she gasped for breath, her asthma overpowering her, her hunchback weighing heavily on her deepset shoulders. Slowly she walked to the dry sink and sipped from a glass of herb-scented water. It's an old remedy, but it works; sooner or later, everything works. Then she sat at her kitchen table snapping beans, waiting for her strength to return. We'll have beans for dinner along with peanut chicken. It's Xiao's favorite. XiaoXiao caught her breath. Where is that boy? I never have to call him twice to eat. XiaoXiao waddled slowly to the door and wheezed, "Xiao, come, eat, hurry, hurry."

Underneath the house, Xiao and Jiang heard XiaoXiao calling. "I must go. I don't want granny catching us."

Xiao dressed quickly and crawled toward the rear of the house. Then he put on his socks and shoes and entered the back door.

"Where have you been? Lunch will be ruined. Have you been playing with that wicked Jiang again?"

"No, Granny," Xiao lied. "I've been out gathering eggs. It looks like a storm's coming-and why do you say Jiang is wicked? Everyone says he's wicked. What wickedness has he done?"

"Don't worry about Wu Jiang," XiaoXiao said as she placed a shallow wooden bowl of rice and broccoli in front of him. "Just worry about yourself, but the next time you crawl under my house, be careful that your father doesn't hear you." And he comes in without eggs and expects me to believe his lies? Does he think I was born in November?

Xiao's face turned from pink to deep red-darker even than the rooster in his granny's barnyard. How did Granny know I was under the house? Did she know what I was doing?

Feng Xiao's parents, Feng Fengxia and Feng Chung, came in together. Fengxia, who was tall and skinny and as strong as an ox in the field, bounded into the house robustly. She had been at her sister's house in the village, babysitting her new nephew; then she joined Chung, who had spent the day with his friends at the tea shop. They met at their prearranged spot near the tall pine tree and walked home together along the dirt road from the village to their house, Chung dragging his heavy body up the steep path, trying to keep pace with his lithe wife.

"You're dirty son," Chung said.

"Dirty isn't the word," Fengxia said. "Do I need to carry the big bucket into the middle of the village and wash you from head to toe?"

Feng Xiao shuddered; he half believed his mother even though he knew he was too old to be bathed. "I'll wash myself in the river after lunch," out of your sight-out of the sight of any female.

Chung smiled, "We bathed in the river all year long when I was your age-not just in the summer! Now you boys have it easy. You only bathe on warm days."

"Then, I shall wait until the ice forms in the river. Perhaps my blue skin will cover up the dirt."

Everyone laughed at Xiao's joke. It was the first time he understood their sense of humor and today, he responded like an adult. In more ways than one, he thought, today I am a man.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

July 4, 1962-Daylight

Three days later, Xiao met Jiang in the woods several kilometers beyond the Great Wall, not far from the river. "I have a new game. Let's see if you can beat me."

Xiao watched as Wu Jiang tugged down his trousers and pulled out his penis. "Watch this," Jiang said, "watch how far I can piss." Jiang aimed across a huge boulder and pissed downwind. His stream arched up and outward, a meter from his spraying hips. "Can you beat that? Can you piss further than me?"

After fantasizing about Jiang's ball game for the past three days, Xiao didn't need a second invitation; he tugged down his trousers and pulled out his swollen member. "Watch me piss beyond the Great Wall."

Xiao was so hard with excitement that it took him a moment to relax. Finally, he watched his stream shoot across the boulder and dribble back. At first, his piss, like Jiang's, had arched up high and hit the boulder a half meter away, but Xiao ran out of water and he watched his stream get closer and closer, until it licked the bottoms of his shoes.

"Maybe next time," Jiang laughed as he shook his penis and tucked it safely back inside his pants. "Maybe you can beat me next time."

Both boys giggled as they held hands and raced toward the Great Wall.

"I have a secret place I just discovered," Xiao said, "come look."

The boys rushed further and further away from the glistening boulder toward the Great Wall as one bright pink flower struggled and died in the ammonia flow of piss.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

July 4, 1962-Evening

"We've arrested two more perverts. We're holding them in separate cells, checking their stories, listening to their lies."

"Another challenge," Captain Sung Li said, "Prepare the table, let's see how they respond."

The captives were older than usual and seemed too old to play such silly, childish games. Zhiping, the first prisoner, was in his late thirties, standing a hundred and seventy centimeters and weighing sixty-six kilos. He wore nothing but his underpants, which were already stained yellow and brown. His dark eyes looked out in terror. His body stank of sweat.

"What have I done?" Zhiping cried. "I was home in bed. What have I done?"

"Admitting to a crime of perversion is punished severely!" Sung Li winked at his men, "or perhaps we should just send this faggot directly to Beijing-I'm sure they could devise many more terrors there."

"I didn't do anything! I am innocent!"

"If you didn't do anything why are you proclaiming your innocence? Wouldn't your innocence be obvious?"

Zhiping was unable to speak. He knew that no matter what he said, he'd lose the battle. I must be brave. I must not lose the war.

"Show him the table," Sung Li said, "Show him what's in store for him and his little friend."

"My friend and I did nothing!"

"Nothing? Your friend already signed a confession," Sung Li lied. "We only had to play with him three hours. He was very small . . . very weak, but I imagine we'll have to play with you a lot longer. Strip him and put him on the table."

Ming, Han and Wei stripped off Zhiping's underpants and tossed them on the floor. "You won't need these, faggot. You may not need clothing for the rest of your life," Sung Li gloated. "Strap him face down on the table."

Zhiping stood up, knowing it was worthless to resist, but knowing it would be his last chance to make a stand for anything-ever-just as Ming kicked him in his balls, smirking when Zhiping fell and bashed his head against the splintery floor. Then Wei stepped on Zhiping's face, leaving his boot print on Zhiping's right cheek, and when Zhiping tried to stand up, Han kicked him in his nuts a second time.

"I didn't get my hands on the other faggot," Han said, "this one belongs to me."

"Lift him up and put him on the table. There are serious consequences for prisoners who try to escape. This faggot must be punished."

Quickly, the three men tied Zhiping facedown to the table, hands to the two knobs at the top, feet to the two knobs at the bottom, until he offered a delectable target.

"Turn the wheel a notch," Sung Li said. "Let's see if he's ready to confess."

"I'll tell you anything you want," Zhiping screamed, "I confess."

Too easy! This one's far too easy. Doesn't he know I want to play with him? Doesn't he know I play with all of them? Sung Li had spent months designing his special table, trying to find the perfect punishment device. Ultimately, he attached two tables together and set them on a platform nearly a half meter off the floor. Then he put ratchets at each end. When he turned the ratchets, the table legs lowered a few centimeters forcing the middle of the table to rise and the criminal's body to stretch. The first turn of the wheel generally made a prisoner uncomfortable. The second made him sweat. After that, the fun began.

"I heard you like toys in your butt, faggot! Let's see how you like these." Sung Li shoved a huge cucumber in Zhiping's mouth. Then he shoved in something firmer, thinner, tougher-it was something Zhiping had smelt before but couldn't place. "I have two officers here, along with a cucumber and a stick of dynamite. We're going to play a little game of touch me, feel me, tell me. Let's see how long it takes you to identify each one before we light this stick of dynamite and shove it up your ass."

Han grabbed Zhiping's piss-stained underpants and wrapped them tightly around his eyes. Han knew the drill; he had played the game a dozen times before.

"You'll have one guess each time-but after six hours, you're going to hear me strike a match. Then you'll have about twenty seconds to make your final guess."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Xiao and Jiang were lying naked by the river. They had gone there to bathe but had ended up playing and now the sun was setting, and the evening air blew crisp and cool on their glistening brown bodies. "I have another game," Jiang said.

"Games, games, games! Is that all you ever think about?"

"Games are fun, besides someday I'll grow up and win the greatest game of all."

"The greatest-?"

"I'm going to break the world swimming record. I'm going to be the best swimmer in the world!"

"So that's why you spend so much time in the river? You're serious."

"Yes, I'm serious and yes, that's why I spend so much time in the river. I swim five hours a day-summer and winter."

Xiao laughed, "And all this time I thought you wanted me as your boyfriend. I thought we could play here by the river."

"There's plenty of me to go around," Jiang smiled. "Perhaps you could be my trainer, then we could both enter the competition. Perhaps we could even escape."

"And perhaps the chickens in their pens won't end up on our dinner tables and perhaps the clouds won't dump rain all over our heads."

"Don't argue with me," Jiang said. "We're lovers-lovers don't fight. Let me show you one more game."

This was the first time Xiao had heard Jiang say he loved him-he loved him! He loved him!

Wu Jiang held Xiao closely in his arms and smothered him with kisses. Slowly he inserted his tongue in Xiao's mouth. At first Xiao felt as if he were choking, then he sensed the bitter taste, the raspy file plunging in and out of his mouth, but within a few moments Feng Xiao fought to insert his tongue deep inside Jiang's mouth, wondering, wondering.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

XiaoXiao sat alone in her kitchen, plucking the chicken for the evening meal. Something horrible has happened. Another man has been picked up by the guards. Why can't life be like it was when I was a girl and everyone was free? The Communists hadn't conquered China yet and the war was so very far away. We didn't have so many rules back then. In those days, if someone did something, if a man loved another man, it was his own business-not the government's. Why can't things be like they were? XiaoXiao thought of her uncle and his friend. She remembered the times she had peeked though the window and seen them making love. It was so beautiful, so natural. Why is it a crime today? XiaoXiao erased the thoughts from her mind as she wiped up the chicken entrails from the dirt floor. I must never think these thoughts again! The police are everywhere. Government's everywhere. The Communists can read my mind. The feathers flew, and even though XiaoXiao was a fastidious housekeeper, she didn't care-not this time-she knew she'd sweep away the feathers later and use them to make pillows. Right now she needed to concentrate on her work; she needed to put the thoughts of the police out of her head.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Turn the wheel again," Sung Li gloated. "I don't think this boy has ever experienced pain. Ming, what time is it?"

"20:10."

"So, we've only been playing two hours!

"Three hours, captain."

"No, it's two hours of play time. The hour he spent unconscious doesn't count." Sung pointed to Han. "Climb on top of him-see if he can figure out who you are. How many times have we played with this boy's ass?"

"Four, sir."

"We need to step up the pace-let him feel like he's home. Let's reward the little faggot."

"I'm ready to confess," Zhiping screamed.

"What? Did someone hear the dogcatcher screaming outside. Close the window, Wei. Let's continue."

"I confess. I did it! Do what you want. I confes

"We don't need your permission to do what we want to you or your little boyfriend. I make the decisions here. Proceed."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Back in the village, XiaoXiao sat alone in the hut, worrying about Xiao, knowing his crime, secretly praying that he'd never be caught.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"I did it. I made love to a man! Stop! For God's sakes, stop!"

Sung Li toyed with the match in one hand and the stick of dynamite in the other. One day I'll do it. One day I'll do it for sure.


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Poet
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Perversion
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