Mo Fengzia's nose wouldn't stop running and her sleeve was filled with snot from a habit she'd developed as a child, but she waited, barely able to stay awake, sneezing and dripping, as she stood by the door of her three square meter wooden hut worrying about her son, Mo Bin, and even though she had told him to come right home from school (a warning she had given every day for the past six years), she and Mo Bin both knew the chances of him coming directly home were as infinitesimal as Mo Bin growing up to replace Chairman Mao. I hate it when Mo Bin wanders off; he frightens me, but I will not hunt him down; he's grown now, he needs to take care of himself. Fengzia sat down on the rotting wooden threshold and stared straight ahead, trying not to contemplate her dual misery. Is he fishing at those damned rapids again or is ogling his friend Wu Jiang, as he practices his backstroke? Damn it, where in the hell is he? Great goddess Kuan Yin, don't let him wander along the Great Wall again; don't let him get lost in the mountains! Fengzia hung her head down and sobbed as the snot poured out of her left nostril and her heart throbbed in pain. It's all his grandmother's fault-it's all Mo Binbin's fault. She's too lenient with that boy; I should have switched him the day he started school.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Mo Bin wanted to visit his friend, Da-Li, but he knew he'd have to walk by Kai-Hai's house and he was scared. It seemed to Mo Bin that Kai-Hai, who was a full eight years older, existed for no other reason than to abuse him. Most days, Kai-Hai merely taunted him, but four or five times a month, he'd make the time to tickle Mo Bin, or pitch his tiny tits, or sit on him and fart in his face, and because Kai-Hai's uncle was the chief of police, Kai-Hai was never chastised.

As Mo Bin approached the only quasi-commercial corner in the village, between the general store with its collection of winter melons and squash, and the newly constructed three-room police station, which was directly opposite Kai-Hai's house, Mo Bin scanned the streets carefully, plotting escape routes. I don't have time for Kai-Hai today; I don't want to play his games. Mo Bin had walked through this section of the village a thousand times and he chanted his options as if they were his mantra. If Kai-Hai spots me, I'll run in the store and sneak through the back . . . and if that doesn't work, I'll run down the alley to the river.

Bin's soul ached and he cried inside. There was no way to avoid the bully. There was no place to hide. One day I'll be strong enough to face him; I'll raise my chin to the sky and dare him to touch me. One day I'll-

Kai-Hai, a giant at a hundred and eighty centimeters and a mountain of acne, sweat, and flab, emerged from his house with his friend, Men-Kae, a grotesque looking dwarf, who worshiped Kai-Hai as if he were a living god.

Men-Kae tugged on Kai-Hai's sleeve and motioned with his head, drawing his attention to the boy hiding behind the watermelons cart.

"Hey Mo Bin, sucked on any pickles?" Kai-Hai laughed uproariously as Mo Bin turned three shades of pink and hurried away, hoping today's assault would mercifully remain verbal, hoping he wouldn't have to run to escape Kai-Hai's sadism.

Just then, Men-Kae belched and Kai-Hai's attention, as short as it was, was instantly diverted. He laughed so hard that Mo Bin was able to skulk away.

Bin strode several hundred meters until he reached Da-Li's house and entered quietly. There's no sense in letting everyone in the village know how frightened I am, besides, we all must learn to face our demons. Mo Bin straightened himself up to his full hundred and sixty centimeters. It's time to take my stand. Kai-Hai has bullied too many children; I must get even, but how, how? He's a tiger, but I'm as clever as a monkey. Just then, Mo Bin, thought of Genji, Sung will marry Genji soon, and once that happens, she'll put an end to his bullying. Mo Bin felt better already. He knew the wedding was only three weeks away. Genji won't let Kai-Hai act like a boy once he is married. He'll have responsibilities . . . and children of his own. Mo Bin breathed a sigh of relief, knowing he'd be free to enjoy the rest of the day with his friend, Da-Li.

"Let's play with the rabbits," Da-Li said as he trudged up the ladder to the roof. Mo Bin was delighted to get away from the street and bumped his head against Da-Li's ass twice as he tried to scamper up the ladder behind the lumbering boy.

On the roof, Mo Bin and Da-Li played catch-me-catch-me for several minutes and then Da-Li became serious. "Guess what! I have a secret. Daddy's taking me to Xichow for a whole week!" Da-Li grinned so wide that Mo Bin could see his tonsils. "While I'm away," Da-Li hesitated, knowing that Mo Bin would be delighted to obey his request. "I'm asking because I need someone to watch my rabbits while I'm gone."

"I'll be delighted to," Mo Bin said before being asked.

Bin knew the rabbits would end up on the Li family's dinner table and part of him wished he could enjoy the feast, but the other part, the part Mo Bin wanted to keep secret from everyone, was that he had always wanted to play with the rabbits; he wanted to feel their fur against his body, he wanted to rub their long silky ears, and he wanted to listen to the quiet way they spoke to each other Most of all, though, he wished the rabbits were free to hop in the meadows beyond the Great Wall. But I know that's foolish, animals can never be free, not as long as stomachs growl.

On his way home, Mo Bin knew he'd have to retrace his steps and face Kai-Hai once again and his stomach churned as he inched around the corner, praying that the town bully had gone to bed.

"I'm dying to get that little faggot," Kai-Hai chortled as he rubbed the top of Men-Kae's head for his daily dose of good luck and thought how much fun it would be to shove the dwarf 's behind on Mo Bin's face while he tickled Mo Bin's toes or pulled down Mo Bin's pants or pinched Mo Bin's tiny brown boy tits. "Let's beat the crap out of him; let's show that him that a stinky fat dwarf is superior to that little fag. I want to see the look on his face when he's whipped by a midget." (Kai-Hai had never discerned the difference between midgets and dwarfs; to him, all short adults were little people, underlings, inferiors . . . though nowhere near as inferior as the faggot Mo Bin.)

From the side of Da-Li's house, listening to the street sounds, Mo Bin heard everything Kai-Hai said and he was frightened now. He had been beaten many times, but, until now, he never understood why. In the past, he had thought it was because he was smaller than the other boys, but now he wondered why Kai-Hai called him this strange new name. He wondered what Kai-Hai meant by 'faggot'. Until today, he had never heard the faggot word and now he was faced with a triple threat: being abused by Kai-Hai, being sat on by the dwarf, and being called a name he did not know or understand. Mo Bin's palms sweat and he felt like running far into the night, wondering if he'd ever be able to face his fears like a grown up man. Then Mo Bin did the thing he did best-he faced his inner fears. I'll pretend Kai-Hai isn't here, I'll hide myself in a coat of invisibility and walk straight on by him. A deer can lie still in the forest and go unnoticed for hours. I can pull up deep inside myself and think these boys away.

But. . . melting into the background might work once, but it's only a temporary fix. I won't be able to hide from these bullies forever. This town is too small and everyone knows me-besides, I'm not a bear living in a cave.

Bin struggled with all his courage, as he pretended to slip into the darkness of the shadows, struggling one more time to avoid Kai-Hai and his dwarf friend, and walked right by them-as though they saw neither his hide nor his hair.

Boys, boys, boys! Why does Kai-Hai hang out with so many boys? It just isn't normal. Wha'is he hiding? Why is he- Mo Bin didn't have time to finish his thoughts, just shy of a hundred and sixty centimeters and barely forty kilos, he was physically inferior to Kai-Hai, but he knew he was Kai-Hai's intellectually superior and he knew he'd have to out reason Kai-Hai if he was going to overcome his fears. Mo Bin slipped deeper into the alley behind the grocery store, waiting with panting breath for Kai-Hai to leave so he could hurry home. Fortunately, it was only a few seconds before Kai-Hai's uncle stepped outside and motioned for his nephew and his friend to enter, and as soon as Kai-Hai and Men-Kei went inside, Mo Bin walked home, wondering how much longer the game would last, wondering how much longer he would fear for his life.

Again, the next day, Mo Bin hid behind the vegetable cart, which was shaded partly by the watermelons and partly by the squash, as he watched Kai-Hai linger outside the police station talking to his uncle, Sung Li, the burley chief-of-police. I still have time to reach Da-Li's house, feed his rabbits, and maybe even play with them before it gets dark. Please, Kuan Yin, let the boys go inside like they did yesterday; let me be free for once, if only for today.

Sung Li glanced over at the melon stand, sensing there was something different about it, as Mo Bin prayed for a way to escape, but Sung Li had been police commissioner years and farted police mentality: nothing escaped his vigilance.

He spotted the boy above the big white radishes, just below the golden squash.

"Uncle, do you think I could have your job someday?" Kai-Hai asked.

"Not until I'm dead and gone," Sung Li laughed, "and I don't plan on leaving this earth for at least thirty more years." Both laughed, but Kai-Hai laughed loudest, still unable to comprehend truth from jest or sport from play. "Let me tell you a secret," Sung Li pursed up his lips as if ready to reveal the secret of the universe to a babe: "Beijing's a thousand kilometers away from our worthless town and as long as we send Beijing our tax money, they could care less what we do here. . . or how we do it." Sung Li smiled his wide ugly smile, revealing his four missing lower right teeth and a rotted tooth hanging precariously from his upper lip. ". . . and their government is only strong where the rich live-it does not care about the poor and helpless so, when you control this village you can do any damned thing you want to do-you will be god." Sung Li paused for a moment, hoping at least some of this was sinking into the lead-lined brain of his nephew. "The people think your power comes from Beijing; the people will fear you, but when you become police chief, you can do anything you want . . . anything."

Kai-Hai smiled, he had worshiped his uncle since he was a child.

"You can start working for me after you get married. Then, I'll hire you as my deputy. Would you like that?"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Kai-Hai felt as if the gods had crept out of the sky and given him their blessing and both he and his uncle ignored the watermelon table-and the moving white radish next to the yellow melons, as they dreamed about their futures.

It was then that the white radish became alive as Mo Bin made his move, scurrying backwards, accidentally touched a watermelon, as he scrambled behind the vendors' tables, crawling along the dirt street from vegetable stand to fruit stand to alleyway, trying to avoid the glances of the two men. But just as Mo Bin reached the alley, just as he was about to escape Kai-Hai, the melons began to teeter and for no reason, other than, perhaps the inertia of his arm against the fruit wagon or the anger of the gods, a watermelon toppled off the cart and rolled across the street, landing round and smug and laughingly at Kai-Hai's feet as if had more brains than Kai-Hai, as if it was in charge of the village's destiny.

"Ha," Sung Li said, "a gift from the gods!" Sung Li grasped the melon in his left hand and held it next to his nephew's face. "It looks just like you, "little melon head." It has your chin and look, here are the indentations for your eyes. All it lacks is your ears, but you never listen anyway." Both men laughed but Sung Li laughed longest and loudest because he was in a position of power and Kai-Hai was barely able to dream such dreams.

Kai-Hai took the watermelon from his uncle and stared deeply into it, wondering if it was a good omen or a bad omen, wondering who else would repeat the watermelon story and how long it would haunt him. Damn Mo Bin; he did this. He set me up. I'll get even with that faggot if it's the last thing I ever do.

"It's not often that you see a man's face on a watermelon," Sung Li said, "We should remember this moment. There is a deep meaning here, a very deep meaning." Sung Li's laugher filled the tiny street, echoing back from the storefronts, filling the deserted alley and all Kai-Hai was able to do was to blush, blush like the setting sun in the western sky.

Meanwhile, Mo Bin hurried to Da-Li's house and climbed up the rickety ladder to the roof. He feed the rabbits in the first cage and then got more food so he could finish up quickly and play with them, and hold them in his lap, and pet their soft little heads.

"Hey faggot," Kai-Hai shouted as he hurled a rock up to the roof, barely missing a cage filled with frightened rabbits, "Why don't you stop playing like a girl? Come on down and play with me-come play with real boys."

Bin wondered what Kai-Hai meant by real boys. He had all the equipment necessary to be a boy, but he often felt so . . . different. . . .so unwanted and abandoned and despised. "Leave me alone. I'm on a mission of mercy," Mo Bin prattled childishly, "I'm feeding Da-Li's rabbits. I'm watching his rabbits while he's gone away with his daddy to-"

"Watch the faggot jump," Kai-Hai shouted to his companions, Shen and Man-Chung, as he tossed a rock a centimeter from Mo Bin's skull. "The next one'll get you, boy. You'd better hurry home to your granny if you know what's good for you."

Fearlessly, Mo Bin refused to budge. "I'm not running, Sing Song, if you want me, you're your fat ass up here and get me," Mo Bin's strength gushed from his adrenal gland into his kidneys, into his liver and spleen, into his heart and blood stream, inundating him with the power to overcome his archenemy. "Come on up and watch me toss your ugly fat ass off this God-damned roof. Come on up-you faggot! Mo Bin had no idea of the power of words until that moment when he saw the look of fear and degradation on Kai-Hai's face and realized for the first time that "faggot" meant something horribly humiliating.

Kai-Hai had never heard Mo Bin fight back before and at first he wanted to laugh but then he wasn't sure if Mo Bin was serious and the last thing he wanted was for a runt like Mo Bin to toss him off the roof. It's happened before, Fai threw Kok off a roof last year and Fai was a small boy-a very small boy. Is Mo Bin bluffing or is he capable of tossing me off the roof? "Don't tempt me, little boy, not if you know what's good for you. Don't tempt me or I'll beat the rice out of you." Kai-Hai's voice was strong, but Mo Bin sensed an inner weakness in it-he felt his enemy crumbling in front of him-and all because I used that new word, Mo Bin thought.

"Come on then, do it. Let's get the damned thing over with, climb up the ladder so I can toss your ass into the damned street, you faggot!"

Just then, Kai-Hai's fiancée, Genji, stuck her head out of the door. "Come inside now, Kai-Hai, leave that child alone. You know better."

Kai-Hai lowered his head, ashamed to have been embarrassed in front of his friends, Shen and Man-Chung, doubly insulted to have been embarrassed by Genji, but most of all to have been embarrassed in front of Mo Bin. I'll get even with the little faggot. He'll be sorry he ever attacked me.

Shen and Man-Chung quickly ran down the opposite street, shouting to each other, "The butterfly boy will pay for being a braggart," Man-Chung cried, "the butterfly boy will pay with his ass!"

"The butterfly boy?" Shen asked, "Why did you call Mo Bin 'the butterfly boy'?"

"Mo Bin has a butterfly mole on his right shoulder and he brags that it's enchanted; he says the ancient goddess, Kuan Yin, protects him because of his mole and sometimes says he sees the wings fluttering on his shoulder."

"Is that why Kai-Hai hates him?"

"Kai-Hai doesn't hate him; he likes the boy. It's . . . well, it's not important, don't worry about it. It's just not important."

Shen and Man-Chung both knew they needed to hurry home. Their families were waiting for them. They also knew their dinner would be gone if they got home late and the last thing they wanted was to go to bed hungry.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Bin smiled as he lay alone that evening with his thin blanket hugging him. He was pleased with himself for standing up to Kai-Hai and he felt self-confident for the first time in his life. One day I'll whip Kai-Hai's ass. All I need is to trust my inner strength and rely on the Goddess, Kuan-Yin. Mo Bin yawned, wanting to fight Kai-Hai in his sleep, wanting to forget Kai-Hai ever existed, wanting to drift off into the arms of the goddess. One way or another, I'll whip him; Kai-Hai will never bother me again.

As Mo Bin fell asleep, the goddess spoke to him. You have a perfect heart, Mo Bin, that's why I protect you. You have a child's heart-pure and perfect. Guard yourself from the evil ones. Don't taunt them or tease them. Be wary and never show your strength until it is time. Now, go to sleep. Tomorrow is a wicked day.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Late that night, Kai-Hai snuck out of his house. It wasn't the first time and it wasn't for the usual reason, but he snuck out anyway: he need to prove to himself that he could beat the brat with the butterfly mole.

Kai-Hai climbed on top of Da-Li's roof and twisted the rabbits' necks one by one, slowly reveling in the looks on their faces as their hearts fluttered frantically and their eyeballs exploded . . . and then Kai-Hai danced under the blood red moon, howling like a dog and thumping his chest. When he finished, Kai-Hai stuffed the warm furry bodies back into their cages. Let Mo Bin explain that to Da-Li; I'd love to see his face when he does.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next afternoon, Mo Bin climbed back up to Da-Li's rooftop, wondering why Kai-Hai was nowhere in sight, wondering why the boys weren't taunting him. Perhaps I've scared them. Perhaps they'll never bother me again, Mo Bin thought, but as he rounded the corner at the top of the roof he smelled something sickeningly sweet and his nostrils flared as he tried to remember what it was. Then he saw the great black birds break away and fly off into the sky. Then he saw the fleas and ticks sucking the blood from the dead rabbits.

Why? Why did he kill the rabbits? They'd still be alive if I hadn't stood up to Kai-Hai. Should I back down? Should I be afraid of him or should I make another stand? No matter what I do, he'll play with me until one of us dies. I must make this my moment of truth and I swear to the great goddess, Kuan Yin, that I'll stand up for myself against Kai-Hai and against anyone who harms . . . Mo Bin's voice trailed off as he sobbed, not for himself, but for the rabbits.

And down below, far into the recesses of that stinky cloudy morning, Kai-Hai looked up at the sobbing boy and laughed. It serves the faggot right. Faggots must never forget their place.

The goddess stood by Mo Bin, wishing she could envelope him in her arms, longing to protect him, but she knew she would remain invisible until he found the cave, and even then, it would be an arduous journey before Wu Jiang and Mo Bin reunited with their past souls-the spirits of Meng Jiangnu and Fan Xiliang.

And deep down inside the darkest alley in the darkest moment of the night, Kai-Hai laughed, thinking that he had won.

And Mo Bin cried.

And the fleas continued to suck the rabbits' blood.


On to Chapter Four
Houses Never Tell
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The Great Wall
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