Tarheel Writer - The Wedding Album by Mystwriter

"The Wedding Album"
by Mystwriter

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Adventure
Drama
Angst

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Why aren't you smiling, Malfoy?
It's a serious occasion, isn't it?
Not that serious.
What do you mean? I'm pledging my life to you. I think that's bloody serious!
Well I mean yeah, but you're also presumably happy. A little smile wouldn't have hurt you.
Look, Potter, you take pictures the way you want and I'll take pictures the way I want. Okay?

The Wedding Album - At the Burrow

So where were you?
Trying to hide out from Fred and George. They were initiating me, remember?
(Laughing) Oh yeah! I forgot. That was pretty funny.
No it wasn't. I didn't appreciate the floppy ears.
(Laughing more loudly) Oh yeah!
Potter, if you value your life or limbs you will stop laughing now.
(Pulling himself together) Okay, okay. I'm sorry. You know I love you...Floppy ears and all!
That's it! We're done here.
No, no. Come back! Please. I won't say anything else. Let's just get this done. It's been a whole year and we're just now getting to it.

The Wedding Album - Now there's a handsome man!

The Wedding Album - Now there's a handsome man!

Now there's a handsome man!
Certainly is. I notice you can smile when you want to. Though it's a bit more like a smirk.
You like my smirks.
Most of the time.

The Wedding Album - Some Wedding Guests

Why aren't these pictures moving?
Dunno. Must have been taken with a Muggle camera. Colin has been experimenting. He likes Muggle things.
May I say, Mr. Potter, that you were absolutely gorgeous in your dress robes?
You may. And may I also say, Mr. Malfoy, that you were stunning as always in yours. (pause)
Mmmm. You kiss just as well as ever even a year later.
I hope so. We've got a lot of years ahead of us.

The Wedding Album - Hermonie and Draco

Ah, now there's a pretty picture. She's been a good friend to me.
Yeah. I'm really glad.
I wonder if I'll ever stop feeling guilty for calling her a Mudblood all those years.
You will. She's forgiven you, you know.
I know. I just haven't...forgiven myself.
You really should. She loves you, too. Not as much as I do, of course.
Who in their right mind would love me as much as you do, you idiot?
Don't know. I wonder about it myself sometimes.

The Wedding Album - Ginny Weasley

Now see? I told her that dress would work.
Seems a bit fussy to me.
Oh yes. And you, who takes all of five minutes to decide which pair of faded and scruffy jeans to wear would know about a woman's couture.
You know, you're beginning to worry me.
Worried I'm gay, or something?
No, you git. I know you're gay. I just don't want you to start wearing dresses. --Ow!
And you'll get more of the same if you insinuate that again. I'm not a drag queen, you know. I'm a masculine homosexual.
Right.
I don't like the way you said that.
(Shrugs)
What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing. Can we just get on with it?
Wait a minute. What are you saying? You don't think I'm masculine?
Of course I do. You're very sexy, too. Can we just--
You don't think I'm masculine enough for you.
Don't be ridiculous.
I'm not being ridiculous. You think just because I have a fashion sense that I'm a poufter.
I was just kidding. I'm sorry. I happen to think you're very masculine. Especially when I'm lying beneath you and you're shagging the daylights out of me. Can't get more masculine than that.
Too right! If you're not careful you'll end up the bottom from now on.
(Shrugs)
What's that supposed to mean?
Malfoy. It just means "whatever you want." I don't like arguing with you.
So you want to be the bottom from now on?
Well, I think you'd miss my topping you. But if that's what you want...
(Squirms) Well...maybe you don't have to bottom all the time. That doesn't make me a queen, you know.
I know. I never said it did. Now stop this. You know I love you. You are very sexy. You are very masculine. It's one of the things that attracted me to you in the first place. Okay?
(Kiss) Okay.

The Wedding Album - Fleur Weasley

Cow.
You know, you two are going to have to try to get along.
You know me. I get along with everyone. It's her. She started it.
(Choking) Oh. Right.
Bill's forgiven me.
I know. She'll come around someday.
And until that day...Cow.

The Wedding Album - Harry Pensive

What were you thinking about?
Oh, I don't know. I was pretty nervous about our magic joining. Didn't know exactly what it might do to us, I guess. Were you nervous?
A little. Mostly just anxious to get to it.
You mean the honeymoon.
That too.

Hermonie and Harry dance

Where was I during this?
Probably dancing.
Oh yes. You know, McGonagall is quite the hoofer. She showed me a few steps.
I bet you could show here a few moves.
Harry, don't be naughty. Especially when talking about McGonagall. Makes me go rather green to think about it.
Do you think she and Dumbledore ever...?
Please! Can you imagine?
Trying not to, actually.

Oh! Beautiful Provence!
Yes, it was. We'll have to go back. We didn't end up spending much time there, did we.
No. Not nearly enough. But that's because you were sweetness itself and sprung your surprise on me.
And you say you hate surprises.
I must say, your surprises turn out to be quite good after all.
Wow. That's quite an admission. Do you realize you almost said you were wrong?
No I didn't.
Yes, you did. You said you 'hate surprises but mine turned out to be quite good'.
That's not the same thing as admitting to being wrong.
Yes it is.
No it isn't.
Draco, why can't you just admit it? You don't really hate surprises. What you hate is bad surprises.
But that's not what I meant.
Yes it is.
No it isn't.
Oh forget it.

Harry and Draco riding bicycles

So you cheated, right? You charmed your bicycle to pedal for you.
What if I did?
It's cheating.
So what?
Well, it sort of defeats the purpose.
What purpose would that be? Getting cramps in my legs and becoming all sweaty? I'd rather get that from sex.
No, you git. The experience of getting exercise and breathing in fresh air and all that.
I breathed fresh air.
But you're supposed to work for it.
Why?
Because that's the point of a bicycle!
And that's what you wanted us to do? You know, Harry, sometimes I wonder about you.

Provence Bistro

There's that great bistro. The food was so good.
Wasn't it, though? You know I'm sure Dobby can come up with something similar. We could nosh on the terrace and pretend its Provence.
That might be fun. As long as we can pretend about the barn.
Speaking of which...

Barn

Ooh. You got a picture of it. That was lovely, wasn't it?
And you wanted to do it in the hay.
Still would have if you hadn't insisted on a bed.
Very naughty, Potter. Just what were you thinking? A little fantasy, perhaps? The Peasant and the Lord?
What?
You know. You're the lowly peasant and I'm the rich lord and we sort of have an encounter in the barn...
Why do I have to be the peasant?
Why do you think? I'm certainly not the peasant. So anyway, I'd come in and say, "Why isn't my horse saddled, knave?" and you'd say--
What do you mean "you're certainly not the peasant"? Like it's obvious I should be? That's pretty insulting.
You're missing the point here, Harry. It's about the fantasy. So you say, "Sorry, milord. Forgive me. I'll get to it now." "That's not good enough, knave. Get my riding crop!" Then you'd say--
I just don't see why I'd always have to be the peasant.
Because it's my fantasy. So then you'd say, "Oh no, milord! Not the riding crop!" Then I'd say, "Don't argue with me! That will be extra lashes--"
Lashes? Wait a minute!
Well not lashes. Spanking. You know.
**********
Harry. Come now. I know you have a kinky side.
**********
Oh come on! You like being helpless, I know you do. I wouldn't spank you very hard. Just a little.
**********
Harry.
I just never...I mean I just didn't think that...I'm...actually speechless.
Why?
You actually want to (whispers) spank me?
Sure. Spices up a relationship.
Hmmm.
Well?
Do I get to spank you?
Of course!
Well all right, then. As long as I get to play the lord now and again.

Harry and Draco

Hey, don't put that as the caption.
The only picture of us together on our honeymoon besides the bicycles and you cock it up.
I've never used a camera before.
Obviously.
Well you could have done it, you know.
I took all the other ones. And wasn't it you that kept saying, "Oh Draco, let me try!"
Yeah. Okay. Sorry.
Oh don't feel badly. I got some good ones of us in our room.
What? When?
Let me show you.
How did you take that?
I am a man of many talents.
That's for sure. I just didn't know that some of them involved cameras.
Shall I put them in the album?
No way! Hermione may look at this some time.
You sure? This one could be mighty instructive.
(Salivating) Jeez, Draco! There's no way you could have taken that picture. How did you get that angle?
(Giggling) It's a good one, isn't it? Quite your best side. Makes everything look bigger, don't you think?
Looks spot on to me.
We could make a special album. You know, just for us.
You have more?
Yes. How about this one?
Oh my! Oh I like that. Let's get a poster made of that one and I can hang it in my office.
Now, now. You know that will never do. Don't want to scare the kiddies.
Okay. Maybe in our room.
Not in front of the house elves.
Then a private album of my own. Wallet size.
That can be arranged.

Malfoy Manor

Ah. Home.
Yes. I'm getting used to it.
You're such a Gryffindor. You would have endured it anyway for me, wouldn't you have?
I did.
But it's all right now?
Without your father haunting it? Yeah. It's all right. I do like the view.

Provence Hotel Room

Great room. I can't believe it was for one person, though.
Waxing nostalgic for a cupboard under the stairs?
That's not funny, you know. That could have scarred me for life.
Didn't seem to.
Could have, though.
Did they really?
Yeah. I told you. Didn't get my own room until they found out I was a wizard. Big shock, that.
I still want to hex them someday.
Just don't, all right? We've had enough run-ins with the Ministry.
But I could do it so they'd never find out who--
Draco, don't.
But really, Harry. I know these great curses that are practically undetectable--
Just don't, okay?
I don't see why not. They bloody well deserve it.
I know. But...you know. They're the only family I've got.
You've got to be kidding! They never even responded to our wedding invitation. That certainly says a lot about a person.
Right. Well, I think it best to just leave them alone. It's over. It's done. I don't really ever have to see them again. It's just--I don't know. Comforting, I guess, to know they're there.
Well I'm your family now. So I say you don't really need them.
That's true. And I love you.
I love you, too, Harry.

Draco Malfoy

Why are you including this in the album?
Well, I guess I don't need to carry it about anymore.
Oh? Why is that?
I have the original.
That's sweet.
Potter, how many times do I have to tell you? I am not sweet.
Yes, you are. You're sweet, and fluffy, and romantic.
How about sexy?
You are that.
And handsome.
Goes without saying.
I rather think it does need the saying.
You are so arrogant.
That's not exactly a compliment.
It's not supposed to be.
What happened to all those nice things you were saying to me?
Okay. You're very handsome. I tell you that all the time, you git.
But I like to hear it. Harry love, shall we put this away for now? I'm getting a craving for chocolate sauce.
Chocolate sauce? Why just chocolate sauce?
Well, I have something in mind to put it on.
You do? Oh... Oh I see. Right, then. To the bedroom?
Race you.

Home Sweet Home

That's not a bad picture, Potter. You're improving.
Thanks. It was hard to keep it steady on my broom.
I'm impressed. And it's a good view, too. You know, I never much cared for school. But it does feel like home to me now. Mostly because of you.
That's sweet of you to say.
Harry, how many times do I have to say--
I know. But you will always be sweet to me.

Frolicking in the snow

Frolicking? Sounds a bit gay.
In case you haven't noticed, Malfoy. We are.
It was a lot of fun, though. You throw a mean snowball.
At least I used my arm and not my wand.
Are you accusing me of cheating?
I don't believe for one minute that your aim is that perfect.
Oh really? Let me flip you over and I'll show you my 'aim'.
Malfoy, cut it out! I'm trying to get this album put together--Draco! Stop it! Draco. I mean it. You...ooh. OOOOH.
How's my aim now?
Really...quite....good.
Shall I aim deeper?
Yes. As deep...as you...like. Ah!
Isn't this better than a snowball fight?
Yes! But you're still cheating with your wand!
But you like this wand.
I love this wand. Oh Draco!
Harry!

**********

Oh my. Well. What were we doing?
That stupid album.
It's not a stupid album. It has some of our most cherished memories. I don't have a lot of those. They rather begin with you, actually.
Really? Well then. Why don't I get the camera and we can make another cherished memory?
Draco, come back. Prat. He's always going off and doing just whatever he--
Ready? I'll set it up right there. Where's my blasted wand...? Ah. I think if I hover it there--
Watch the candle!
Bloody hell. That's a linen duvet! Candle wax will never come out of that.
Everything else has come out of that. Including cum. What do you care, anyway? Isn't that a house elf problem?
This is a designer duvet, I'll have you know.
Why don't you just Scourgify it?
You can't just Scourgify everything, Potter. Some things need a more gentle touch.
Like this?
...Well give me a minute.
I'm sure it will clean. Now what did you want to do with this camera?
Oh. All right. Get in front of me, okay. Let's do something artsy.
What, like this?
Not Picasso, you twit. Like this. Although...hold that thought for later. Are you ready?
Should I smile?
Oh, one never smiles in an artsy photo. You need to smolder. Let's see your smoldering look.
**********
Potter, that's not a smolder. It looks like you're going to be sick.
Does not!
Does, too.
All right. How about this?
Much better. Now hold it.
Was that it?
Yep. Now a little twist of the wand. Ta da! You like?
I like! Can I put it in the album?
Go ahead.

In Love

Oh. I guess I prefer your caption.
Well we are, aren't we?
You look positively shaggable, Mr. Malfoy.
As do you, Mr. Potter...Mmmmmm. And you taste shaggable, too.
What do you say we put this aside for now?
Good idea.

The End

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"The Wedding Album" is Copyright © 2005 by Mystwriter. All rights reserved
This work may not be duplicated in any form (physical, electronic, audio, or otherwise) without the
author's written permission. All applicable copyright laws apply. All individuals depicted are fictional
with any resemblance to real persons being purely coincidental.

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