Harry leaned slightly forward over his broom. The Firebolt roamed in lazy zigzags over the Quidditch pitch. The snitch was certainly taking its time showing up. Harry had a long opportunity to simply amuse himself with wayward thoughts. Watching Draco Malfoy make his own languid circles at the opposite side of the pitch, his thoughts naturally fell to the Slytherin.

For six years there had been nothing but enmity between Harry and Draco. Six years of school at Hogwarts, six years of words, insults, duels, and hexes. But there was certainly one thing that would have set the Slytherin off like nothing else. If he suspected, if he had one iota of an inkling that Harry Potter, hero of the Wizarding world, had a crush on Draco Malfoy, Harry's life would be even more miserable than Voldemort was making it.

Harry knew that he was interested in boys. His disastrous liaison with Cho Chang solidified that once and for all. But he didn't understand why he should be so intrigued, so enamored of the one person he supposedly hated. Was it Malfoy's care-nothing attitude? (There was certainly freedom in that, a freedom Harry could well envy.) Was it Draco's unmistakable charm? (Harry had to face it. Even when Draco was insulting Hermione, he had a command of himself when he did it. Every time Harry challenged him, Malfoy would stride fearlessly up to him, all alone and ready. There was something quite electric in the way Malfoy held himself.) Maybe it was his face, so devastatingly handsome to Harry. Those blue eyes, the sneer that lifted his nostrils, his lips? Maybe it was all of it wrapped up in that bad boy persona. Harry envied that, too. How Malfoy wasn't afraid to be who he was, even if who he was cruel and conniving. A foul loathsome little cockroach, as Hermione had once called him.

Yeah, but a really good-looking one.

Harry's eyes followed Malfoy. He was a good flyer. Almost as good as Harry. Of course he had had years to learn, well before Harry had even heard of the Wizarding world. Malfoy wore his Quidditch uniform well, too. Those tight white breeches, the boots and pads, how his chest filled that green Slytherin tunic. Harry's heart thumped wildly merely looking at him.

He turned away, trying to fool himself that he was searching the skies for the snitch. He really had to stop fantasizing about Malfoy, but he found it difficult to stop. Here he was in his last year at Hogwarts and dreading it because he would never likely see Malfoy again-except on the opposite side of war.

"Stupid. Crazy," he muttered. Only Hermione knew of his obsession. It had become so obvious she had asked him what was wrong. Of course she couldn't have really guessed what was behind it. No one would have guessed that of the Great Harry Potter. But she had approached him one day in the Gryffindor common room when no one else was around.

"Harry, I wonder if I could have a word with you."

He put aside his book. He hadn't really been reading it anyway. "Sure. What's up?"

"Well…I'm wondering what's up with you, actually."

"What do you mean?"

Hermione bit her lip. "I don't know quite how to put this. But you seem to be obsessing about Draco Malfoy for some reason."

His heart stopped. He was sure of it. Breathlessly, he asked, "Ob-obsessing?"

"Well… yes. In every class he's with us, I notice that you…well, you stare at him nearly the whole class. And when he walks along the corridor, and when he's in the great hall. Do you expect him to do something, Harry? Is there something we should know?"

"Is it that obvious?" he whispered.

Hermione put her hand on his. "You can tell us, Harry. If there is something we should be looking out for, it would be good for us to know it."

Harry dropped his head in his hands. "Oh Hermione." He shook his head. No, she hadn't guessed, but he couldn't keep it bottled up anymore. He had to tell someone. "No, no. It's nothing like that." He raised his head-knowing his face was flushed-and looked into her eyes. Hermione's eyes were a soft shade of brown and as sympathetic as that of a deer. "I…I…need to tell you something but…I don't…know how."

She squeezed his hand. The doe eyes blinked sympathetically at him. "Go on."

"Okay." He blew out a breath and straightened his shoulders. "Okay. Actually, you're not too far wrong. I am obsessed with…Draco Malfoy." Even though they were alone he whispered the last. "But not because I'm worried he's going to do something. It's because…because…I…like him."

Her brows rose quizzically. "You…like him. I thought you hated him."

"I do. Sometimes I really do. But mostly…I…like him. Rather a lot."

She blinked. "Hang on." Hermione shook her head as if to clear it. "Are you saying what I think you're saying? You're not talking about a simple change of heart about your enemy, are you?"

Harry shook his head miserably. "No. When I say I like him, I mean I have a…a c-crush on him. As in…wanting him. You know. Wanting."

"You're gay?"

"Yeah. Have been a long time."

"I never knew. Gosh!" She shook her head again, but this time musing on it. "Does Ron know?"

"No! What do you think he'd say?"

"Well he wouldn't take it very well. Not at first. But he's your best friend. You really should tell him."

"Yeah, I know. And I will. Someday."

"So you like Draco," she said slowly. "That is rotten luck."

"Understatement." He folded his arms roughly over his chest. "And I really don't know what to do about it."

"Have you thought of talking-"

"No! Absolutely not!"

"But he might also be gay."

"Have you seen any indication of that?"

"Well I didn't see it in my own best friend, so why would I have seen it in my own worst enemy?"

"True." He shook his head. "I can't risk it, Hermione. Can you imagine what hell my life would be like if I approached him and-?" He shivered at the thought.

She nodded vigorously. "I see your point."

And so it remained their secret. At least he had someone to confide in when on those days it was overwhelming. He felt so stupid about it. Surely he could find someone else at Hogwarts. There were a few boys he was pretty sure about. But no one interested him like Malfoy. Perhaps it was the forbiddance of it, that bad boy thing. Harry shook his head and raised his eyes again, looking for the snitch. Whatever it was, he knew it was hopeless and it left him feeling hollow and dazed.

He heard it. A flutter of wings. He snapped his head up and a flash of gold touched his peripheral vision. And almost as quickly, a rider in green on a broom whizzed past him. Malfoy!

Harry tilted down and zoomed after the snitch. His shoulders tingled and he dropped a few feet just as a bludger came right at his head. He watched it whiz past and then he leaned forward and let the Firebolt make a bee-line for the dashing snitch. Malfoy was on its tail, his right arm outstretched for it. Harry came up along side him slowly gaining. Malfoy snatched a glance at Harry and sneered. He leaned to the side and slammed his shoulder into Harry's, trying to knock him aside, but Harry held on, trying to coax more speed out of his Firebolt. They flew in close formation now, dipping and rising to follow the snitch's path. Twigs from both brooms brushed each other.

"Back off, Potter! The snitch is mine!"

"You wish, Malfoy!" And then Harry slammed into him. The Slytherin only laughed. Draco's white blond hair flew back out of his face. He wore it even longer now in his seventh year, gaining length to match his father's. It was striking as always, swishing out from his face like white flames.

They flew elbow to elbow and slowly gained on the snitch. The wind roared in Harry's ears, or was it the fierce cheering of the crowds as they closed on the little golden ball? Harry's hand stretched forward but so did Malfoy's, so close they were almost touching one another. Suddenly, they both lunged and each had a grip of the snitch at the exact same moment.

Malfoy glared at Harry. "Let go! It's mine!"

"Shove it, Malfoy. I have it!"

Still both gripping the snitch, they were unaware as their brooms plummeted toward the ground.

"Give it up, Potter!"

"Never!"

Down they spiraled and when Harry's vision filled with green, it was only then he noticed it.

"Malfoy!" he said, alarmed.

Draco looked too, but he wouldn't let go. Malfoy reached out and grabbed Harry's tunic and suddenly they flew off their brooms. They clutched each other-still holding the snitch-and spun, sailing a long way on momentum before they plowed into the sandy ground, rolling and coughing up dust.

When they came to a halt, Draco was lying on top of Harry. They had their free arms wound tightly around each other, their snitch arms still above their heads. Draco's face was inches from Harry's. He looked stunned as he stared into Harry's eyes, stunned mostly that they were still alive and unharmed.

"You okay?" asked Harry, breathless.

Draco nodded, blowing his hot breath into Harry's face.

Even though every muscle ached, Harry wanted the moment to go on forever. He'd never been this close to Malfoy, never touched him like this. It was accidental, he knew, but it was still a fantasy come true. He was so close to his face, it wouldn't have taken much to tilt his head to kiss him, but of course that was out of the question.

"You can get off me now, Malfoy," he strained to say. He certainly had no desire to say it.

"Not on your life, Potter. I have the snitch and I'm not letting it go."

"Well I'm not letting it go either."

People were running toward them. He could hear Justin's amplified voice saying in a very surprised tone, "Well this is a first at Hogwarts, I believe. According to my sources-" Harry thought he must be looking at Dumbledore-"this has never occurred in a game before. Both seekers appeared to have caught the snitch at the same time. We are still awaiting the judgment of Madam Hooch."

The crowd quieted as Hooch approached Harry and Draco. Draco stared furiously into Harry's face, threatening with his eyes.

Hooch, along with a crowd of others, leaned over the two Seekers and ticked her head. "Never saw anything like it," she muttered. She aimed her wand at the snitch, incanted a spell, and gold light shot out from the wand's tip, hit the snitch, and bounced back into her eyes-the Wizarding version of instant replay, Harry imagined.

Hooch shook her head again and seemed satisfied. She turned to the stands, raised the wand to her throat and said, "Sonorous. It is my judgment," she announced, her voice amplified, "that the match between Gryffindor and Slytherin is…a draw!"

There was a strange mixture of cheers and boos rising from the stands, but Harry dropped a disappointed look on Malfoy. Hooch leaned over them again. "You can let the snitch go now, boys."

Harry released it first, his only concession to Malfoy. Draco immediately rose off him and hurled the snitch into the sand before he stalked off.

Hermione was running forward even as Ron helped Harry to his feet. "That was spectacular!" she shouted, her eyes bright.

"It means we've got to play them again," said Ron. "But it was still bloody brilliant!"

Harry dusted himself off, trying to hide his furious blush while thinking of Draco sprawled on top of him. "It certainly was," he said quietly.

* * *

Harry brooded in front of the fire in the common room, his unread book lying open on his lap. After a time he felt the cushion beside him compress and he looked up to see Hermione's anxious face looking back at him. "Problems, Harry?"

He nodded.

"Is it about You-Know-Who?"

"Which one?"

"The blond one," she said softly.

Harry nodded again. "I don't know what to do, Hermione. Mostly, I feel so stupid."

"Don't. We're all a little stupid when it comes to love. For instance, I haven't had the courage to go to Ron. I'm still waiting for the idiot to come to me."

Harry smiled a little. "You may be waiting a long time. Ron's my best mate but he's just a bit dense, you know. At least when it comes to stuff like this."

"I know." They sat in silence for a while. "Maybe we should both do something about it."

"I already told you, Hermione. I can't go to Malfoy-"

"I'm not saying to go declare your love to him. But at least you can try to make friends. I'm thinking more about when we leave Hogwarts."

Harry shrunk down. "I know. That's what I've been thinking of. If Malfoy becomes a Death Eater like his father and I have to face him someday-"

"It could be disaster!" she said dramatically.

"Yeah."

"So you don't have much time."

"You expect me to turn Draco Malfoy from Death Eater to Muggle-lover in a few months when he's had a lifetime of indoctrination? It's not going to happen, Hermione."

"Well, it will never happen if you don't at least give it a try."

Harry thought about it, watching the red glow ripple over the ash-gray logs. "No, I don't suppose it will."

The next day, Harry decided. He was going to talk to Malfoy. He was going to do his best to make him see reason. He didn't want to end up facing him in a real duel someday. If it came down to killing him, he didn't know if he would be capable of doing it.

Malfoy was never hard to find. There was always a glut of Slytherins nearby. Pansy Parkinson's back was to the castle walls and he was leaning into her, talking quietly. Everybody knew they were an item, at least Pansy did her best to insinuate they were. And by the way they were talking, it certainly looked it.

Harry's spirits fell. Well, he knew he didn't have a chance in that department. Might as well make sure he could accomplish something while he was here.

"Oi, Malfoy!"

Draco looked over his shoulder still leaning his arm against the wall. "What do you want, Potter?"

"I'd like to talk to you a moment, if I could."

He straightened and sauntered forward. Pansy crossed her arms over her chest in annoyance and Crabbe and Goyle strode forward. "What about? You going to lecture me on Mudbloods or something?"

Harry eyed the other approaching Slytherins. "No. I just want to talk to you. Alone. If you're not afraid to be alone with me."

Malfoy's smile fell slightly. He didn't look up at Crabbe and Goyle. Just made a quick hand signal and they dropped back. Harry turned on his heel and began walking toward the lake. He could hear Malfoy following.

Just keep your mind on it, Harry admonished himself, feeling a distinct heat in Malfoy's general direction. To be walking with him like this was another fantasy, though to be true to the fantasy, they would have been holding hands, not one scowling at the other.

They got down to the lake and Harry stopped.

"So what is this about, Potter? Going to feed me to the squid?"

Harry sat but Malfoy remained stubbornly standing. "Sit down, Malfoy."

"I don't want to sit. You have exactly two seconds to tell me what the hell you want."

"I just wanted to talk to you about us. Clear the air."

"Us? What do you mean 'us'?"

It was not the 'us' Harry really wanted to talk about. That idea tied a tight knot in his gut. "Us. This enmity we've lived with for the last six years. There's no reason for it."

"No reason? I can think of a thousand reasons."

"That first day on the train," said Harry quietly. "I didn't mean to reject you out of hand. It was just that I had met Ron and he was really friendly to me. The first time anyone had been friendly to me, and I didn't like your attitude about it."

Draco seemed to muse this for a moment, his fists going to his hips. "Do you mean when we first met?" Harry nodded. "You've been worrying over me all this time? What an imbecile, Potter. I barely remember the incident."

"Draco, don't lie. You don't need to. I could tell I hurt your feelings. And I'm apologizing for it."

"My feelings? As if you could hurt my feelings. Why don't you go to your girlfriends and talk it over with them while knitting one of those Weasley jumpers."

This should have been the moment an angry Malfoy stalked off, hurling a curse or two over his shoulder. But strangely he did neither of those things. He merely stood there, glowering down at Harry. Harry sighed. "Sit down, Malfoy."

But Malfoy remained standing. "What is this really about, Potter?"

"It's about friendship. I just thought instead of being enemies we really should be friends. Or close to it."

"I know what this is about." Malfoy laughed suddenly. The deep sound mixed still with a hint of the little boy he was fast shedding. "We're all leaving Hogwarts soon, and you're worried about facing me in the outside world. Scared, Potter?"

"Yeah, actually."

Malfoy hooted.

"But not the way you think," Harry added. "What I'm scared of is having to kill you." Malfoy's laughter abruptly died. "And I don't want to have to do that."

"Kill me, Potter? As if you would ever get the chance."

"I'm worried you'll become a Death Eater and I'll have to. I don't want that to happen. That's the truth, Malfoy."

Malfoy's face darkened. "I'll tell you what, Potter. Why don't you just surrender to the Dark Lord now and you won't have to worry about facing me."

Harry jumped to his feet. "Why do I bother? What an idiot you are! How can you stand there and defend Voldemort? Don't you realize what devastation he's done? Don't you understand that your very soul is at stake? All of these people you've gone to school with for the last six years. These will be your foes. These people who have cheered you on the Quidditch pitch, ate with you, sat in class with you, done detention with you. You can so easily watch them die?"

A momentary flicker passed over Draco's eyes but it was quickly squelched by his smile curling up his mouth. "Watch me," he said, and turned on his heel.

"Malfoy!" Harry took a step toward him and then stopped. It was useless. It was all useless. How could he possibly have feelings for such a monster? Harry felt sick inside. Even as he watched Draco walk away, he longed to have him back sitting beside him.


On to Chapter Two
"Duel"

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