Oh shit. Harry couldn't think of anything to say. His mind was a complete blank. The rat. It must have escaped.

Dumbledore glanced at the other teachers. "Perhaps Harry and I need some time alone to discuss this. If you would all excuse us." The teachers looked at Harry. But the worst part of it was, their eyes were filled with fear. He never wanted any of his friends to look at him like that. Suddenly, he understood what Draco was trying to tell him, but he feared it was a little too late.

"Professor McGonagall, please stay. And you, too, Professor Malfoy."

Once all the teachers had gone, Dumbledore stepped away from the table. He positioned himself to stand over Harry. Harry noticed with dread that the old wizard was clutching his wand though he did not raise it.

"And now, Harry. Please explain to me about this poor creature. Why does it have a Dark Mark and one in the shape of the Gryffindor lion?"

Harry opened his mouth but nothing came out but a croak. He cleared his throat, licked his lips, and tried again. "I…I can explain, Headmaster. You see, I've been researching how to get rid of the Dark Mark. I've desperately wanted to remove it from Draco. I've got a few spells I think will work but I thought it best to experiment on something …well…neutral rather than Draco. And…and I didn't want him to know about it in case I failed completely. I didn't want to get his hopes up for nothing. So…so I thought it would be all right if I put a Dark Mark on something else, something like a rat…but I guess…it wasn't such a good idea after all."

"No," said Dumbledore without change to his expression. "It most assuredly was not a good idea. I would have thought having had to deal with Voldemort for all the years of your schooling you might have surmised that delving into Dark Magic was a serious mistake. But I see that I was wrong."

"I'm sorry, sir. I just reckoned I could handle it-"

"As well as Tom Riddle handled it, Harry? True, he was corrupted as a child and there may have been nothing that could have stopped his descent, but I would have thought that the mere notion of performing that particular Dark spell would have turned your stomach."

"But don't you see! It turned my stomach every time I saw Draco rub his arm! I knew what he was feeling! I wore a mark, too, remember."

"Draco willingly took that particular mark whereas you had no choice."

Harry gasped. How could Dumbledore say those words! "Draco was an under-aged wizard. He barely knew what he was doing."

"I knew what I was doing," said Draco quietly.

Harry whirled on him. "No you didn't! You were too young-"

Draco shook his head. "Just because you love me doesn't mean you should live in denial all this time. I might have been young, but I knew what I was doing. I wanted it. I wanted my father to be proud. I wanted to follow Voldemort because I believed he was the savior of our kind who would rid wizards of those who would befoul what I believed was the purity of the line. I just didn't know he didn't care about that anymore."

Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. "No. You…you-"

"Harry Potter," said Dumbledore. The tone, the words caught Harry's attention. "Your intentions were noble. I see that. But what you have done is far from forgivable."

Harry couldn't catch his breath. He felt like he was fourteen again back in that graveyard where Cedric lay dead and Voldemort rose again. His voice was small when he asked, "Sir. What can I do?"

"This creature is suffering. What do you intend to do about it?"

"I have some spells. I was going to try them."

"Then do so now, Mr. Potter."

Harry took his wand from his pocket but his hand was shaking. He couldn't concentrate. He couldn't remember the spells. "I…I need to get my notes."

"Are you a child, Mr. Potter? DO THE SPELL!"

Dumbledore angry was a frightening sight, far worse than facing Voldemort. Furiously, Harry searched his brain. There. He saw the words as if they were written on a parchment right in front of him. He aimed his wand, closed his eyes, and incanted very slowly and precisely. A painfully bright light glowed from his wand's tip and the light engulfed the rat. He snapped open his eyes and watched the rodent squirm and writhe. The Dark Mark glowed fiercely and began to change. Harry continued to murmur the spell, eyes riveted to the rat as he concentrated. The Mark broke up, pieces of it flinging off and rising up into the air in black, oily ribbons. The rat was frantic but it couldn't move. More pieces of the Mark lifted from the rat's reddened skin and flew upward until there was nothing left of it but light glowing on the shaved fur. Harry pulled his wand away and the light instantly went out. He panted, staring at the cleansed flesh of the rat. The rodent, relieved of the shimmering Mark seemed no worse for wear and now ignored the flesh it had harried for many days now.

The Dark Mark was gone. But Dumbledore looked no happier.

McGonagall crouched in front of the rat and examined it, shock on her face. "Mr. Potter! That was extraordinary! Oh my! I've never seen anything like it."

"Thank you, Minerva," said Dumbledore. "I think you can leave us now. You, too, Mr. Malfoy."

"With all due respect, sir," said Draco, "I don't think so."

Dumbledore turned his eyes on Draco. As far as Harry could tell, there was nothing particularly menacing in his eyes, but his delivery somehow took Draco back. But he stood his ground. "Whatever you have to say to Harry affects me, too."

McGonagall stopped at the door and turned around. She wasn't about to leave either.

The old wizard relented. "That is certainly true, Draco. Because as of this moment, I cannot sanction your marriage. I believe you would be far too dangerous."

Draco stepped back. "What? Me?"

"No, Draco. Harry." And he turned his blue eyes on Harry.

Harry gulped. He surely didn't mean it. This was Dumbledore, after all, who championed Harry's cause, changed the Wizengamot's mind. "But what about your promise? You said it was owed me."

"And so it is. But under the present circumstances, it is quite impossible."

"But hang on. No one even knows if we'll get this doubled power-"

"We cannot risk it."

Harry lunged forward. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE ABOUT THIS DARK MAGIC THING! HERE I AM DEFENSE TEACHER AND I DON'T BLOODY KNOW ABOUT THAT! MAYBE SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE CLUED ME IN!"

Dumbledore wasn't rising to the bait and he wasn't backing down. "Perhaps. But I trusted your own good judgment to step in. I was mistaken."

The fear was gone, replaced by a blossoming, hot core of anger. "You know something," Harry said in a deceptively calm voice. The room trembled ever so slightly. "I can see a little of Tom Riddle's point. If you try to follow the rules you inevitably get burned. It's all about the rules, not about the people. It's been about rules all my life. I was never a person to the world. I was a thing, a tool. And now that I finally want to be a person, they still won't let it happen. I can see the Slytherin side of things, oh yes. Make your own rules. Well I just may have to do that. And you have no one to blame but yourselves."

Harry swept out of the room. A few books fell off of shelves in his wake, but Draco noticed. And he was trembling.

* * *

Harry didn't know how he made it back to his rooms behind the Defense study, but he was there, pacing, going over the entire scene with Dumbledore in his mind over and over again, juxtaposed with the scene at the Ministry.

No two ways about it. He was in deep trouble.

It was quite an exit speech he made, no doubt about it. Shades of Tom Riddle, that. Nice Dark Wizard speech. Just the sort of thing everyone was afraid of. "You're an idiot, Potter. A genuine idiot. You played right into everyone's fears and they'll lock you up…or worse." A sudden flash in his mind of Dumbledore dueling him to the death took his breath away. "No. I won't do that." He ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head, wearing a path on the wooden floor as he continued to pace. "I've got to think of something, think of a way out of this." He'd done a lot of stupid things before, childish things. But he was an adult about to get married. Well, maybe. He had to think like an adult, not like some spoiled adolescent. If this were any other wizard, how would Harry feel about it? He nodded to himself. He'd be damned frightened of him, he'd tell him to listen to reason, he'd counsel him to get help. Yeah. Maybe that's what Dumbledore had been trying to say but in his anger and frustration Harry only saw Dumbledore's disappointment, not his fear for Harry's personal safety. But Harry didn't feel dangerous. He felt under control. Though the call of the Dark Magic was never far from the edges of his thoughts. But that could be controlled, too, he knew it could. There had to be spells. But maybe not. Maybe it was a matter of personal integrity. Tom Riddle was selfish, always had been from what Harry witnessed in the Pensieve. But surely Harry wasn't like that. He didn't feel like that. Of course, if one was selfish, would one feel they were?

He had to go back to the Headmaster and the sooner the better. He had to prove to him that he could control this urge to Dark Magic, that he could keep it away, that he would never be a danger. He simply couldn't be. He never, ever wanted to be Voldemort.

He heard the muffled password and the door to his rooms opened. Draco entered, looking paler than usual. "Harry? Are you all right?"

Harry blushed and lowered his head. "Yeah, I'm all right. I feel bloody stupid. You were right. Everything you said. I see that now. I'm so sorry."

Draco approached but Harry noticed that he kept a distance. That hurt most of all. "You're intentions were good. You just didn't know-"

"But I should have known. Dumbledore was right to be angry with me. I didn't think because I didn't want to. I didn't ask him because I didn't want to be told 'no'. I've been a rule breaker for a long time and I thought I could break just one more. Well it was one too many this time and it's not about detention anymore." Dried-eyed, he gazed at Draco so far away from him. He sighed. "I just wanted to marry you. I just wanted to have you for keeps."

Draco's reluctance faltered. He moved forward and took Harry's face in his hands. Harry melted into the touch. "And you have me! No matter what. We can even get a Muggle marriage if you want to. No spells. No danger. And we'll be married."

"You're suggesting a Muggle marriage? Oh dear. You must really think I'm lost."

Draco released him and turned away. "We can live like Muggles. You know how. I know how. Then no one can say or do anything to you."

"Draco, I am not going to live like a Muggle. We're going to get past this. There has to be a way."

Draco glanced at Harry but there was nothing but sadness in his gray eyes. "I don't know, Harry. You scared the hell out of me back there. How would it be if you were three times that powerful?"

"You, too?" Harry's ire rose but just as quickly faded. How could he blame Draco? "Well, at least let me do what all this mess started with." He raised his wand and Draco cringed back ever so slightly. Harry began the incantation to remove the Mark but Draco grabbed his wand hand.

"No, Harry."

Harry stopped. Draco's face had become determined. "What are you doing?"

"You're not going to remove it. Ever."

"Why not? Draco, I've seen how it haunts you."

Draco's lips rose in a sneer. "Do you remember that Chocolate Frog card of you I have?"

"Yeah. You said you keep it as a reminder of how stupid you were."

"Not exactly. You see, after my trial, after the Ministry destroyed my wand and sentenced me to live as a Muggle, I had every intention of killing myself."

Harry's heart lurched. "Draco."

Draco ran his hand up the back of his neck, lifted the blond hair for a moment, and let it fall back. "I…ah…I decided it wasn't worth the trouble to live if I couldn't be a wizard. So with my last sickles I bought a bottle of firewhiskey and a Chocolate Frog. My last meal. I found a little corner of London all alone, drank down the firewhiskey, and then broke the bottle. I had a nice sharp piece of broken glass to do the job and I had numbed myself up with alcohol enough for the courage. So as my last act on earth, I tore open the Chocolate Frog, ate the bugger before he hopped away, and just happened to glance down at the card I was about to toss in the rubbish bin. And there it was. You. Looking back at me. And do you know what I suddenly thought of? How you lived like a house elf for most of your life. Like a Muggle. And how it made you stronger. And suddenly I didn't want to slit my throat. I kept thinking, 'If Harry effing Potter can do it, then why can't I?' And just like that I changed my mind. And I kept that card ever since. Even when you weren't in the flesh, you seemed to be my savior."

Harry wiped the wet from his eyes. How close he'd come to never knowing the joy of being with Draco. How close.

"So you see, Harry love, I believe you can do anything you set your mind to. But this time, your Draco is here beside you. Even if we could put our past aside, it doesn't mean we should ever forget it. I keep the card because it reminds me of your strength and your courage, and I keep this Dark Mark to remind me never to be such a bloody fool again. And as much as I would like you to remove it, I know I shouldn't let you. There are just some things we must not forget."

Harry felt the hot tears glisten on his cheek. He licked the saltiness from his lips. "You're far braver than I am," he said softly.

"Nothing of the kind. I just know my limitations. You haven't yet learned yours. Maybe you shouldn't. Maybe that's what makes Harry Potter Harry Potter."

"No. There are limitations. And I've got to learn them. And Dumbledore can teach me. I think the first lesson is humility. I have to go back to see him now." He stepped up to his lover and took his shoulders. "Draco, we may not be able to be married right now, but we will be. Some day. And in a wizard way, not a Muggle way. We are two wizards, after all." He leaned in and kissed him, and then he stepped back and Apparated to Dumbledore's office.


On to Chapter Nine
"Rethinking"

Back to Chapter Seven
"Playing with Fire"

Chapter Index

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