The naked boywith soft brown skin and rugged features lay back on the bed. CJ'sfingers ran sensuously along the inside of the boy's thighs. A slightdowny fuzz crept across the soft skin of the boy's belly towards theindented bowl of his navel. The boy's muscles, long and smooth rippledwith the sudden excitement of the man's caress. CJ's free hand roamedthis hairless chest, pinching the soft nipples, causing shudders ofpleasure to spasm through the boy's body. The perfectly sculpted torsogave rise to a neck of soaring proportions that held his noble head.The sweet face, kissed by the sun, was perfectly placed with full lipsand a slightly flattened nose. His warm brown eyes had only closed fora brief moment of ecstasy but now they opened. CJ leaned over andkissed this beautiful boy who lay trembling on his bed,
"Thank you, Blake. You're so beautiful, so strong and brave." CJ smiled and then... he felt a touch.
"Hey, CJ," Matt said, "wake up partner. You're talking in your sleep and it's time to get up."
The fog slowly lifted and he was back in his bed on the bus with Matt leaning over him all smiles.
"Ah, there you are," Matt said, "dreaming about the boy no doubt."
"Yeah, what time is it?" CJ groaned.
"It's seveno'clock and time to get up if you want to take that horseback rideEdgar promised us. He's already over in the corral saddling up."
"Right, horses," CJ said.
CJ slid outof bed, the dream and his erection fading in the morning lightstreaming through the open door of the bus. Blake would be there andthat caused him to pull himself together and rush into the bathroom fora wash. My Lord, what a dream, he thought, it all seemed so real.Blake, the stunning vision had become an obsession. The cool water fromthe tap washed away the remaining strands of his dream and left himeagerly anticipating the day's events.
He joinedMiguel and Matt for a quick coffee before they made their way over tothe corral behind the trading post. Edgar had built himself a goodbusiness here catering to the tourists on their way to the GrandCanyon. His horseback tours of the surrounding hills and flatlandsseemed to be quite popular as CJ counted about ten horses in the corralarea. Today there were only four with saddles and CJ realized thatBlake was missing.
He andBlake had seen each other several times the first two days of theirstay, mostly when CJ made an excuse to either talk with Edgar or usethe pay phone in the store. He had gotten over the initial shock of theboy's beauty, concentrating now on the fine details of the lad'scharacter.
They hadtalked briefly, nothing vital, just short meaningful exchanges of ideasthat only seemed to fire his passion for wanting to know more. Blakecarried himself so very well and he showed interest but something washolding him back. What was he waiting for? He wanted the opportunity tolearn more but the kid was always hanging out with several other boysand there was no chance for a private conversation. I have to find away to be with him, CJ thought, the horseback ride had seemed a surebet.
"Good morning, Edgar," CJ called, "looks like a good day to ride."
"Mornin, Mr.James," Edgar said. "A cool morning but it will be hot and stormy thisafternoon. We had better go soon or you won't like the ride back."
"Where's your help?" CJ said, trying to be casual about the inquiry.
"Oh, myson?" Edgar said, "He's already left to go ahead. You watch for him,likely he'll try and ambush us somewhere out there in the hills. It'shis little game on the tourists, you know."
Edgarlaughed and shook his head. This was the third day they had been campedbeside the trading post with Edgar's blessing. The man had said to callhim Edgar but just couldn't bring himself to call CJ anything but Mr.James. The formality of it made CJ wonder about the feelings the Navajohad towards whites.
It wasBlake who had first suggested to CJ that they might enjoy a horsebackride. The boy was seventeen, the same age as Miguel. He seemed moremature than his years allowed, but he had just finished his junior yearin high school. Blake had a playful streak as well which made him allthe more attractive. To CJ, the relationship of father and son wassomething beautiful to watch. They worked as a team, each seeming toread the thoughts of the other. CJ had noticed the whole family wasgentle and kind to each other, it made for a harmonious group andlaughter was common around the store.
They eachfilled several canteens with water at the spigot beside the barn and CJrealized Edgar wasn't kidding, the heat was already building. The marehe was given looked bored but still managed to try and nip at him as hemounted. He patted her neck and she tossed her head, so much foraffectionate communication, CJ thought. But the horses knew the way andset out towards the low hills outside of town.
Even thoughEdgar said there had been some heavy rains the past winter and the cornwas doing just fine, it seemed the land was parched all the time. Mattand CJ squirmed a bit in the saddle. They both had some experience withhorses, but had not been in the saddle for a long, long time. Miguelrode with the ease of an equestrian, his former military school kept astable. He had spent much of his time around the beasts, he assured CJ.Matt was sure that he'd been cleaning the stalls on punishment detailmost of that time.
"I'll warnyou now," Edgar said, "around that bend we may find some hostilewarriors. I saw the boy round up three of his buddies this morning soyou gentlemen will get the full show today. Don't be nervous, they onlyfire blanks but it sure gets loud."
They werepassing through a low valley between two hills when the attack came.Down through the low scrub and up from the creek bed to their left,Blake and his three friends struck at the flanks of the party. The boyshad been concealed on their mounts behind the boulders on either sideof the trail and CJ was stunned by the ferocity of the attack. Theshort bursts of fire from the boy's rifles echoed off the hills as thefoursome whooped in delight.
Blakealmost knocked CJ off his horse as the warriors surrounded them and theboy's mount slammed into his own. CJ had to struggle with his horse tokeep her from shying off the trail and the boy leaned over and grabbedthe mare's halter to steady the frightened beast. It was a terrificdisplay of horsemanship and tactics but it was over almost as quicklyas it started and CJ found himself riding beside the object of hisdream.
Blakeshoved his rifle into a leather scabbard hanging from a thong aroundhis shoulders. He and the other boys were riding bare back, dressedonly in pants and moccasins. Otherwise their chests and faces were bareand striped with red and white war paint. They wore red cloth headbandswithout feathers, the fierce expressions giving way to satisfaction andwide, toothy smiles. CJ admired the slender body that rode beside himon the beautiful little calico mare.
"So what did you think?" Blake asked, "Did we scare you?"
"Huh?" CJsaid, "I'm still deaf from the gunshots. That was so loud, we wereterrified. I can imagine the early settlers probably crapped in theirpants when the Navajo warriors swooped down on them."
"Really?That was great fun. But, honestly, most of the time the warriors justcame sneaking up on them in the dark, just like Apache," the boyconfided, "it's a lot safer that way. The weapons they used wereterribly inaccurate but the soldiers had new repeating rifles whichmade a frontal assault suicidal."
"You sure know your history," CJ said.
"It's nothistory to us, Mr. James," Blake replied, "its part of our tradition.The stories of battles and legends are shared around the hogan as partof our tribal pride and culture. You would have to read a lot of booksto find out about your European culture and ancestry but we have anoral tradition that dates back several thousand years or more."
"So you share Navajo tradition through stories?" CJ said.
"Yes, the Dineh tell them in song and dance."
"The Dineh, your people?"
"It's our name, earth people. Navajo is a Spanish word the whites use for us."
"I'll remember that, you are the Dineh. Do you dance?" CJ asked.
"Sure,"Blake said, "I've studied that very hard. My uncle is a medicine manand keeper of our clan traditions. He's been my greatest teacher, butI'm sorry to say there aren't many of my friends that take an interestin our culture. "
"Do you ever dance publicly?" CJ said.
"You would like to see me dance?"
"I would be honored."
"Some dancesare still kept private, but I'll arrange to show you one, maybe a hoopdance," Blake said. "There is much you have to learn about the People."
"You think I should learn? Will you teach me?" CJ asked.
"We've already begun," Blake said and he wheeled his horse away and up the trail to ride with his father.
Blake'sfriends took their leave and returned towards the town, whooping likethe warriors they were supposed to be. Like a good tourist, CJ hadslipped them each a ten-dollar bill for the show and they were off tospend it before the paper grew damp in their pockets.
The sunreached scorching proportion long before noon and although Edgar andBlake showed no sign that it bothered them, CJ was afraid that he andhis traveling companions would get sunstroke. They were skirting theedge of a vast rock formation that seemed to wind for miles when Edgarcalled a halt.
"I'mafraid you gentlemen are going to find this ride getting moreuncomfortable by the minute," Edgar said, "I think we should headback."
"I thinkyou're right," CJ said, "it's been beautiful, but the climate is tooharsh for us tourist types. I been sweating all morning, and I'vealready drunk a whole gallon of water."
"Alright, we'll hit the road back into town, got to stop and water the horses anyway," Edgar said.
Matt hadbeen pretty silent during the latter part of the ride but he and Miguelwere hanging back and talking now, their conversation punctuated withoccasional laughter. CJ reined in his horse to see what was so funny.
"Matt has a blister on his butt from the saddle," Miguel said.
"Ouch," CJ said, "sorry partner, we'll get some salve on that when we get back."
"It's only my pride that's hurt," Matt said, "I haven't sat in a saddle for ten years."
Blakedropped back to join them and said that Edgar wanted to stop and visithis sister but that he could lead them back into town. They soon cameupon a dirt road and followed it to a crossroads. There was a smallcluster of old hogans here and a place to water their horses. Matt andMiguel seemed grateful for the chance to stretch their legs and heldthe reins as the horses drank. Edgar waved goodbye and took the roadtowards his sister's home.
Blake ledCJ around behind a large cement block building. Used to be a garage,the boy said, and they had to see the wall on the other side. And CJwas stunned as they passed around the building. Covering the whole sideof the garage was a wonderfully painted mural. The colors were vibrantand the figures looked very much alive.
"That's Johnny Jimulla's work," Blake said.
"Holy cow," CJ said, as he stood further and further away from the wall to take in the whole artwork.
The piece ofart was at least thirty feet long and half as tall, covering everysquare foot of the building. A huge flowing scene depicted warriors andfarmers, legendary figures on horseback and beings that could only beancient gods. There were a few strange symbols that defiedunderstanding but he could pick out stalks of corn and sheep grazing infields of green, it was magnificent in detail and color.
"Took himthree months to finish," Blake said, "I was only twelve at the time androde over here every day to watch him work and help mix the paint. Itwas the last thing he did before he left the reservation and moved toLos Angeles."
"It's beautiful," CJ said, "tell me about the symbols up there on the right."
"You pickedout the most interesting part, Mr. James," Blake replied. "That depictsChanging Woman who gave birth to the People. The figure next to her isTurquoise Boy, Bearer of the Sun. He is, uh, forgive me. This is toocomplicated for me to tell right now; maybe we can talk about itlater."
"You're quite a scholar, Blake, I'm impressed," CJ said, "but please, won't you call me CJ, all my friends do."
"If youwish," Blake said. "Many of the older Dineh will not call you by nameor even refer to their children by name. You'll see my father alwayscalls me his son or his wife's child. I'll bet you think that'sstrange?"
"Maybe, but some cultures don't use their names because they are afraid the devil will catch them. Is that what we have here?"
"No. TheDineh don't really recognize religion as you might think of it, we evenhave no word for it. Some of the People have become Christian becauseof the white man. Look, CJ, there is still a lot of distrust towardsthe white man here. If you study our history you will understand howmany times we have been betrayed by your government. I don't want todwell on it, just a warning to you, not all the people will accept youor what you are, ok?"
"I understand, "CJ said, "I'm sorry, my people have been terrible fools since we set foot on this continent."
"I know it'snot your fault, I just want you to understand us and accept us for whowe are. Our thoughts are our way of life, we see and feel the worldaround us and accept the gift of the Earth Mother. Our lives give proofto the blessing way. She guides us and the Dineh are truly the childrenof the Holy People. But you will learn this in time."
Matt andMiguel led their horses around the building and Blake had to go throughthe explanations all over again while CJ watched his eyes and bodylanguage as he talked. The boy spoke with pride about his people andtheir traditions, his spirit seemed to soar as he described the symbolsand pictures with gusto. What an amazing child he must have been whenthis was painted, CJ thought, everything I learn about him makes mewant to know even more.
"We shouldgo soon," Blake said. "Do you feel how the heat changes? It will rainlater and we don't want to be out if it storms."
Theymounted up and left the stunning mural behind, its colors ablaze,looking out over the desolate landscape where few but the Dineh wouldever see its glory. Maybe that's the point, CJ realized; it's areminder to these people of all that has gone before.
Cameronsoon appeared down the road and they returned the horses to the corralwhere Blake showed them how to unsaddle the docile creatures. CJimagined that these animals had made this journey a thousand times ashis mount made her way towards the barn and its cool, dark interior. Aspredicted the storm clouds were building above the distant hills, darkand churning with flashes of heat lightning.
Matt andMiguel returned to the air-conditioned bus to cool off and take care ofMatt's blistered rear end. Blake and CJ went into the store whereEdgar's youngest daughter was sweeping the floor. She was raising sucha cloud of dust they had to leave, grabbing a couple of sodas from thecooler and retiring to the front porch. Sitting on the wooden benchlining the wall, CJ had his first chance for a real privateconversation. The rains began as slow drips off the eaves which turnedinto torrents as the storm moved in.
"Thank you, Blake" CJ said, "I had a wonderful time out there today."
"How long are you going to stay with us, CJ?"
"I thinkwe'll be headed up towards the big canyon tomorrow or the next day. Wewere headed that way before I even knew Cameron existed. Glad westopped by though, I would have regretted never having met yourfamily...or you."
"Thanks,"Blake said, he shyly twirled the empty soda bottle in his hands. Theflash of lightning followed by rolling thunder filled the silencebetween them. Here I have this bright and very beautiful boy sittingnext to me and I just don't know what to say, CJ thought. But Blakefilled the void as if he knew there was awkwardness between them.
"When Iwas only eight years old," Blake began, "we had many storms followed bygreat drought. The corn almost died which would have meant hardship formy people. The clan council gathered to discuss the problem. The EarthMother gives us everything we have and if she places hardship on thePeople then we accept that and have a plan.
"Mymother's father said we should hold the Blessingway ceremony to beginthe council properly and it was the first time I had been allowed tosit through the entire ritual. It's a ceremony performed many times ofthe year, always to ask for good fortune or to consecrate other rites.
"Afterwardsthe council made plans for whatever might occur but the drought brokeand the corn survived to feed us another year. We held a ceremony againthat fall during the harvest as part of the celebration. It lasted ninedays and was the first time I was allowed to dance with the adults.I've been dancing ever since, even won several awards in nationalcompetition. It's what I love to do."
"It soundswonderful, "CJ said."The only competition I ever won as a kid was forpulling the biggest rockfish out of the Chesapeake Bay one summer, butit never made me want to become a professional fisherman. You probablyhave a gift for dancing, could you do it professionally?"
"Maybe,"Blake replied, "but there are far more important things I have toconsider first. I don't want to bore you with my life, CJ."
"I don'tfind anything about you boring. Besides, how many young Dineh warriorsdo you think I know anyway? I find your people and lifestyle veryinteresting, Blake."
The boy wasblushing again but CJ could tell he loved the attention. Suddenly thestorm was passed and Blake said he had chores to do but he wasinterested in talking later.
"I'd like that," CJ replied. "You can tell me more about your dancing and the boring life you lead."
"So you are interested? Cool," Blake replied, "see you later."
Blake lefthim sitting there on the porch in a daze. The boy now wanted to spendtime with him, a development that raised his hopes. Last night he wasdreaming about being in bed with the kid, but that doesn't mean it willhappen. Yet he could feel the boy warming to their friendship, maybewith time it would have had the chance to become something deeper.
But theyhad to move on soon. Miguel needed to find his father. The boy had beenvery patient with this little diversion he had caused. Even Matt seemedto be enjoying the time he had to spend with Miguel. Neither of themhad made any complaints, but CJ knew their time here was limited. Hedecided it was time to get back into the book on Dineh culture Edgarhad loaned him. There was so much to learn about these people.
Matt andMiguel decided to take a walk after dinner, leaving CJ reading on thecouch. The sun was setting and it had cooled off a few degrees thanksto the rains. There was no need to ask why they wanted some time alonetogether. CJ was just hoping that they would be discreet. He wonderedwhat had happened to Blake, the boy had said this evening and here itwas getting on seven-thirty now.
It wasabout nine o'clock when the two lovebirds returned all smiles and inlove enough to be nauseating. CJ was cat napping on the couch, withstill no sign of Blake. He would give up on the boy tonight and waitfor the morning. It wasn't long before Miguel yawned and so did Matt.It had been a long hot day for all of them.
Unfortunately,CJ now felt wide awake and when the guys retired he decided it was timefor a walk. Pulling on his boots he noticed a slender joint Miguel hadrolled but never lit sitting on the edge of an ashtray, so he put it inhis pocket.
Lettinghimself out the back door of the bus, he breathed in the fresh air,what a beautiful night, he thought, too bad I'm spending it alone. Hewalked away from the back of the trading post, glancing up at thedarkened second story windows, wondering which one was Blake's.
A well wornpath led back through the deserted outbuildings and past an oldcampfire site. A wisp of cloud passed across the moon and CJ shivered,it was almost chilly after the day's heat. He followed the trail for awhile before he realized that it was fading out in the long grass.
There weresounds in the night and the gray light was fading to black now. Mightbe some critters around, he thought. With that in mind he climbed alarge boulder and sat on the top, gazing out across the flats towardsthe hills beyond. There were few lights to be seen and the stars beganto appear faintly in the sky. He had come walking this way before andCJ knew there was nothing between him and that huge crevice of theGrand Canyon sixty miles away in the darkness.
What hadhappened to the boy? The disappointment continued to plague his mind soCJ brought out the little joint and cupped his hands to light it in theslight breeze. He sucked in the sweet smoke and was planning to hold itin for a long time when a hand touched his shoulder.
CJ almostjumped out of his skin and whirled around, nearly falling off theboulder in his haste. There squatted Blake with a grin on his face. Hewas wearing black jeans and a darkly colored shirt with a headbandacross his forehead. Once again he looked quite the warrior.
"You know the reservation lockup is only two miles away and occasionally they put pot smokers in there," the boy said.
"Damn, you scared the shit out of me," CJ said. "Does this mean you'll turn me in to the cops?"
"Yeah,sure," the boy smiled back. "But only if you smoke all that yourself.Aren't you going to offer me some before it all burns away?"
"Oh sure, here."
Blake took along toke and handed it back. They sat on the rock smoking the jointand CJ couldn't tell if it was the dope or the proximity to thiswonderful creature that made his heart pound in his chest. He hoped itwas the latter.
"I was expecting you earlier," CJ said, "we talked about getting together."
"Yeah sorry,but my aunt isn't feeling well and my father sent me over there withsome medicine for her. I've been watching you for the past half hourthough. If my tribe had been at war your scalp would have been mine.Well, except that my people don't take scalps and that's too Hollywood,ya know?"
"Glad to hear that we're at peace. You move so gracefully and quiet, I honestly didn't hear you at all," CJ said.
"Benefits ofbeing a dancer. I'm afraid I drive my father crazy too, stalking himaround the place. I figure I'm about the best ghost walker in town,"Blake replied.
"So you'vebeen out here all night, just stalking people?" CJ asked, thinkingabout the boy creeping up on the show that Matt and Miguel must haveput on, and Blake smiled as if on cue.
"Yeah, I watched your buddies take a little walk too. Want to know what they did?"
"I imagine I already know."
"Thought so.You know, our culture has a great tolerance for many things, stuff thewhite man condemns. But you can't expect all of the Dineh to be thataccepting of what they did. It sure was queer."
"I suppose you watched them doing things?" CJ asked.
"Sure did, Iwas lying under a bush about eight feet away actually. They never sawor even smelled me. I've never seen stuff like that before, CJ. I don'tknow how to explain it. But your friend treats the boy like a girl."
"Did they look like they were enjoying themselves?" CJ asked.
"Oh yeah.First they were sucking each other's cocks. Then your friend wasnailing that boy up the butt something fierce. The boy was reallyenjoying it too. Shit, ya know, it gave me a hard on."
"Um, what are you planning to do about what you saw?" CJ said.
"Not really sure, are you queer too?"
"You're just full of questions tonight, and the polite term is gay. Yes, I am."
"Sorry," Blake said, "I didn't mean to be rude."
"No offensetaken," CJ said, "I think you had quite a shock. It was something theyshouldn't have been doing and definitely not in front of you."
"It's myfault; I shouldn't have been stalking them either. It was somethingelse though. Do all gays, ya know, do it up the rear?"
"There you go getting personal again," CJ said. "Tell me Blake, are you a virgin?"
"Uh, see what you mean. But yes, I've never had sex, sorry."
"Nothing tobe sorry about, but since we're being honest here, I haven't hadsomeone fuck me in a while. I'm not sure I even remember what it feelslike," CJ said.
"You have done it before. But why?"
"It'scomplicated, kiddo, but probably because I loved him and it seemed likethe most passionate expression of my love. Allowing someone to get thatclose to you physically is such a good feeling, it's like giving theultimate gift to another."
"I see,giving like that is something the Dineh understand," Blake said. "I'venever found a girl here that I'd want to have sex with anyway, buthell, it seems everything makes me horny. I don't know what to do aboutit."
"Feelingsorry for yourself, are you? Come on, it will all happen for you intime, maybe not tomorrow, but someday. Have faith, you'll get what youwant."
"You couldn't understand, but that's what worries me. And what do you want?" Blake asked.
"Do you really want to know? I just want to make you happy," CJ said.
Blake wasbecoming more of an enigma by the moment, what did he mean asking whatI want? How could he be so calm after having watched Matt and Miguel?He's right, CJ thought, I don't understand the Dineh at all. The boysat still for a minute, thinking Lord knows what. He stood up on theboulder and pulled on CJ's arm and motioned silently, follow me.
Theycrossed back down the trail and through the campfire site to the largebarn-like structure on the edge of the highway. CJ could only see theirroute by the floodlight on the porch of the store which lit some of theyard and the darkened bus. The boy walked past the door to the longshed like building and around into the darkness behind. There he slidopen a small door hidden by a water tank slung under the eves. CJcrawled through the door behind the boy and found himself in the rearof what was Edgar's supply warehouse.
"My dad has never let a white man in this building before so don't ever say anything about it, ok?" Blake said.
"My lips are sealed. Wow, look at all the stuff." CJ said.
"Yeah, hesells for a lot of weavers and we make our dancing costumes in here.You've never seen me dance, it might teach you something"
"But I said I would like to," CJ replied.
The roomthey had entered had several tables piled with brightly coloredbeadwork and feathers. Several skin covered drums sat along the wall,along with stacks of the carefully crafted blankets Edgar sold. Theonly light in the room was from an incongruous source, the face of aCoke sign that hung above the door, casting its rays of red and whitethrough the gloom. Blake moved a few blankets aside on a work table andtold CJ to sit there.
"I know I'm stoned now, do you still want to make me happy?" Blake said.
"Yes, I really do."
"Ok, then watch."
Withoutanother word, Blake walked into the gloom and vanished. CJ sat waitingpatiently even though his heart was about to beat it's way out of hischest. The room felt hot and close around him, the still air chargedwith anticipation. Blake reappeared, naked except for a slightloincloth around his waist. He seemed different now, more in control,CJ thought, much more the warrior. The boy carried a dance costume andafter laying the pieces on the table, proceeded to put them on. Thebeadwork and feathers were wonderfully crafted into the skins of thevest and leggings.
"Sorry,"the boy said, "we can't have any drums so you'll have to imagine therhythm in your head and I can't risk any lights either. Just watch andI'll explain it later."
"I understand," CJ said.
Blake begana steady soft chant, more for himself than his audience of one. Hebegan to move with the rhythm, his hands moving gracefully making smallpatterns that grew larger until his arms moved like the soaring of abird. CJ sat spellbound as the boy moved about the gloom, in and out ofthe shadows cast by the dim source of light.
To CJ theeffect was magical and eerie, bringing tears to his eyes. He now knewthe boy was trying to please him and it felt so good. CJ could feel therhythm of the dance in his mind, though his ears could only hear thesound of the boy's feet pounding on the floorboards. Small puffs ofdust leapt off the floor as the boy's moccasins struck their beat.
Blakestepped in a series of moves that took him back and forth, then aroundthe room. His arms rose, becoming the bird in flight, captivating CJwith his grace. Time seemed suspended as he watched the boy weave hisspell, finally stopping his dance in front of the table where CJ sat.His eyes were wide in the soft light and beads of sweat gave his facean eerie sheen.
"Did you like it," Blake asked, his breath coming in small gasps from the exertion.
"I'm astounded; it was beautiful," CJ said, "just like you."
Blake smiledand CJ stood, taking the boy in his arms and they hugged. He could feelthe warmth, the energy flow between them as the boy relaxed in hisarms. They stood like this, arms around each other until the boy slowlybegan to untie the laces that held his costume in place.
Carefullyfolding the pieces he laid them on the table and stood before CJ inonly his loincloth. Sweat was still running in small rivulets from hisface and chest, dropping on the wooden floor. The room was hot, CJthought, or is it passion? He removed his T-shirt and began to wipe theboy's body. Blake stared closely into his face and putting the palms ofhis hands on CJ's bare chest and spoke the words that would never beforgotten.
"CJ, could you ever love someone like me?"
"Yes," CJ said, his hands trembling, "You are the most amazing young man I have ever met."
Blakewrapped his arms around CJ and he could feel the boy's body trembling.CJ raised the boy's head slightly and kissed him on the forehead, thecheeks and then the mouth. No words could describe the emotions he feltpouring from the boy. And when that first kiss ended their eyes lockedon one another for a while, glowing with warmth. The boy laid his headon CJ's chest.
Now is notthe time, CJ told himself. He knew that Blake would give his bodywillingly at this very moment, but that would be unfair. He was onlyseventeen and that was an issue. But if it was going to happen theyneeded to grow into this relationship, to learn to trust and lovebefore having sex. The wonder of it lay before them, and in time itwould seem right and necessary to them both...but not now.
They laytogether on a pile of the blankets, still and quiet, bodies entwined,listening to the rhythms of their breathing. Blake's heart beat seemedto match his own and CJ knew from then on his life would never be thesame. They fell asleep this way until the boy started awake at thedistant sound of a dog's bark, his reaction jolted CJ as well.
Blake rana hand across CJ's face. "I have to sort some things out in my mind,CJ. And you still have a lot to learn about me. I care for you a lot.Just be there, and help me figure these things out."
"Ok, I'm here for you. And, Blake, I care for you a lot too."
Blake huggedhim and CJ felt the elation of realizing that this wonderful creaturewas his to love. They picked up their belongings and straightened upthe room.
"I have tosee my aunt again this morning and I'll probably be gone most of theday doing chores around her place, will you meet me on the boulderagain tonight?" Blake asked.
"Yes, if that's what you want, I'll be there." CJ said.
"You know,it all feels so good," Blake said." I don't really know anymore thanthat right now. It feels strange being in the arms of a man...but it'sok because it's you. How much like the People you seem to be, maybe youwere Dineh in another life? Am I making sense?"
"Right nowI think the worst thing you could do is think about it too much. Imight tell myself the same thing. Complex feelings take time to workthemselves out. But I'm glad you trust me enough to be honest aboutthose feelings. And tonight, please don't sneak up on me again."
"Yeah, I promise never to scare you again."
The boysmiled in the dark and led them through the door, where he hesitatedand turned. They kissed and then Blake vanished into the darkness. CJcrept back to the bus under the stars of the wide Western sky. Hepaused, noticing that the stars seemed brighter, the universe grander,and his mind finally felt at peace.
CJ had to be awakened the following morning at eight-thirty, this time by Miguel.
"Good morning, dear. Sleeping in this morning? Seems you were out late last night, did you get to see the moon?"
"I got tosee the whole universe, and boy do we have to talk," CJ said. "It seemsyou and Matt were doing it for an audience out there in the bushes. Irecommend you confine your lovemaking to the bus if at all possible."
"I'll bet that dirty little boy was watching us, wasn't he," Miguel said. "He was looking funny at me all day yesterday."
"Careful, young man, I'm in love with that dirty little boy."
Miguel screamed," I'll be damned. Matt said you would. Oh CJ, that's wonderful."
"Thanks, butI don't think I had anything to do with it. Blake seems to be very muchin control of the world around him, but don't you dare let on you knowanything about it, understand? Is there any coffee?"
"I'm so happy for you, CJ. He is such a beautiful one."
Matt wassitting quietly with a newspaper when CJ came out of the bathroom.Miguel had told him the good news and he was all smiles.
"Everythingworked out between you two? I'm sorry, CJ. Miguel and I never shouldhave done anything out there last night. I never knew anyone wasaround."
"It'sdangerous in public anytime, but especially when boys like Blake arearound. I must admit though, your actions with Miguel probably brokethe ice between us."
"So are we going to stay here now?" Matt asked.
"No, westill have Miguel to think about and Blake has to finish school. I justhope to keep it going somehow, I'd hate to lose him now."
"I know.Sometimes things just happen this way," Matt said. "But he'll be on hisown soon and he impresses me as a kid who knows exactly what he wants.I do believe he's already chosen you."
"Isn't thatamazing? The boy has so much self confidence, and since I'm in this forthe long haul it will have to go at his pace. He's an easy boy tolove."
It wasabout an hour after dark when CJ reached the boulder and found Blakewaiting for him. The boy's features looked wonderfully soft in themoonlight and they sat gazing at the blanket of stars.
"I want you to learn more of my people, CJ. I have a place I want to take you, tomorrow if possible."
"Sure," CJ said, "is it far?"
"Youmentioned the canyon and I thought I might drive you all over there. Isuppose your friends could find something to do while we make ourlittle side trip, it would only take a few hours," Blake said.
CJ felt asense of something changing between them, the relationship was about totake a turn. Where was the boy taking him? He didn't want to ask, thiswas going to be Blake's show, just like last night. As if the boysensed his doubt, he smiled.
"The Dinehhave many silent places, they contain things that speak without wordsbut where knowledge flows directly into the spirit. I am one of thelucky ones. I have my own special place."
"Is it alright for me to go with you to this place? We won't be breaking any rules will we?" CJ asked.
"No, it is my decision alone to make," Blake said.
The moonhung over the desert and the wash of pale light lit the trees anddelicate rock formations. CJ gazed at the lovely scene before them asBlake leaned against his shoulder. The boy was communicating hisaffection this evening, a togetherness that thrilled CJ to the depthsof his soul.
I feel likean adolescent, CJ thought, I have a crush on this kid. This is the one.I am so lucky to have found the boy I've spent a lifetime wishing for.It still felt eerie and he knew the boy felt it too. Blake suddenly satup straight and gave a high piercing howl towards the moon above, achilling mournful cry. Several answering howls echoed back from thedarkness of the hills beyond them.
"Coyotes love to talk. They are our brothers." Blake said. "I feel so much a part of the earth."
"You're perfect in this environment," CJ said, "the perfect man as an animal."
"You'recloser to the truth than you know," Blake said, "only a wise man wouldunderstand my spirit. We have chosen each other well, that's why weneed to go up to the canyon tomorrow. What I have to show you issomething so very important to my People and my future. You need tounderstand about me and the path my life must take."
Blake stoodand motioned CJ to follow. The boy began to run silently through thedarkness following a path only he could see. CJ struggled to keep up,but he knew he must. Their way led through a forest of scrub pines andout onto another long rock formation. He followed the boy into a darkcleft in the rock wall and found himself standing at the edge of asmall pool of water, feeling the coolness of this place on his skin
It was sovery quiet here that he could hear the water moving, a quiet tricklefrom the surrounding rock. Suddenly Blake lit a match which he touchedto a lantern stuck in the sand at their feet. The dim glow showed CJthe coziness of this wonderful little grotto. The stars shown down onthem through a small crevice above their heads.
Blakeapproached him and began to pull at the base of his shirt, urging himto take it off. CJ allowed the boy to undress him and then enjoyeddoing the same to Blake. They sat naked on the smooth rock in the coolwater, which proved to be only inches deep in the middle.
"We all come here to purify ourselves before dancing, it's become a ritual," Blake said.
"It's not an old place though. I found it several years ago, but it never seems to dry up."
"The place you want to show me tomorrow, is it an old place?"
"From a timebeyond time as we know it. I know you're curious but that's all I'mgoing say for now. You'll have to trust me; it's something you willnever forget."
Blakebegan to splash water over himself, washing his arms and legs. CJ tookthe hint and followed suit, drenching his body in the coolness untilthey were both cleansed and covered with beads of water. Blake pressedagainst his chest and they lay over in the shallow pool. CJ hugged theboy and ran his hands across the smooth muscular back to the boy's ass.
"I've been thinking about you all day, CJ."
"And I have been thinking about you, my dear."
"CJ, I always want it to be like this between us. Does that mean I'm gay like you?"
"What a question, I don't know what to tell you. Do you think one man can give you the knowledge to make that decision?"
"I don'tknow, but I want to find out." Blake was silent for a moment and thenhe smiled. "Do you want to put your penis inside of me as I saw yourfriend doing to his boy?"
"Umm, yes Ido...very much. But I think it is too soon for that between us...don'tyou? I mean, there is your age to consider. It is something we mayeventually do but not until you are ready for it, until we are bothready for it."
"I thinkyou are embarrassed to answer me, but I understand. If you plan to bewith me a long time then there is no hurry, is there?"
It was CJ's turn to smile. "And as I have said, there is so much wisdom in you. I want you in my life for a very long time."
"Then you will have to learn what it means to be me, and I promise to show you tomorrow."
CJ's mindran rampant, what was the kid hiding? He had too many questions andcould only hope Blake would begin to trust him with a few answers. Theboy was so unsure of himself now, what about tomorrow?
"What is it you want to become, Blake? What do you see in your future?"
"I want togo to college and learn about the world. I know so much about my peoplebut that isn't enough. My father thinks I could be the next medicineman."
"Really," CJ said. "That must be a great honor."
"It is, butI would have to give up my ambitions and work here for the good of mypeople. I'm not sure I am ready to decide that yet."
"So thereare two things that you cannot decide about, isn't life grand? It'salways about having to make choices and never really being sure they'rethe right ones," CJ said.
"How true, it is grand and awfully scary."
"Don't beafraid, my friend, you're not alone in all this. The Mother of us allhas blessed you with wisdom beyond your years and I'm here."
"Thanks,CJ. That's why I want to make the right choices. I don't want todisappoint my father or my family. And now I am sure I don't want todisappoint you."
"You never disappoint me, Blake. I love everything about you."
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