"Gold. You do not think you're going to get rich mining gold, do you?"

"Rich doesn't interest me, John. If there's gold here, and there seems to be a lot of gold in these hills, I doubt this place doesn't have some evidence of gold," I said. "I've been thinking about it for a while. I'll need to make a run into Denver to get the goods we're running out of. I can buy material to make torches, and it wouldn't hurt to explore a few of those caves to see what we can see."

"If you don't want to get rich, why look for gold?" John asked.

"If there's gold here, and there is gold found around here, how long do you thing before someone decides to take a look see to find out what's behind those cliffs out front?"

"You think they'd start looking around and they'll find the entrance to the valley?"

"This is a beautiful spot that offers us anything we need. It's only paradise if no one else knows it is here. It's why I'm teaching Samuel to use to bow. This is a perfect place to live and not to need to deal with the meanness of the world out there, John. I know you want a horse ranch, where you will settle down, but this is my idea of a great place to live. It has everything. Keeping it secret will preserve it just like it is. Gold found anywhere near here, and they blast those cliffs down to get at it, and Paradise Valley will be turned into an industrial mining site. I'd like to know if that's a possibility. Then, if it is a possibility, I want to find away to prevent anyone from getting back here. Blasting through a mile of rock would take years. The canyon entrance is the only way to get back here."

"Do you know what gold looks like, if you see it. Isn't there something called fools gold?"

"That's what the assayer is for. He knows who I am and that I've come to finish the survey Robby left behind when he was called home. If I take him rocks that we think could have gold in them, he's going to think it came from the 1st National's land holdings," I said.

"You've given this a lot of thought," John said. "I never thought about gold being up there."

"I'm a surveyor. I need to know what is on the land I'm surveying. While 1st National doesn't own this section, I can have them buy it for me. If there's gold here, I need to know it. We've got a few months of surveying left to do, but I am going to take a few days to go see what I can see. I've watched those goats near the waterfall. I can see them, and once they see me, they disappear.," I told him.

"There are caves there, and I can see openings in the cliffs while Samuel and I are hunting. There are probably more than what I've seen. Where we store our meat is only a few dozen feet into the cave we use. I'm sure it goes further back, and with torches, it's the kind of thing we can investigate. We need to know what's here we haven't found out about yet."

*****

I stood two thirds of the way above the valley floor, and I went in several caves that seemed to go nowhere. As I worked my way up to another opening in the rocks, I found myself standing in an opening in front of what looked like a big chamber beyond the entrance.

I took several steps inside, trying to let my eyes adapt to the darkness, but there wasn't enough light to see any detail beyond how the cave opened up at the mouth. It felt like I was standing in a large room of some kind.

It felt big to me. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the blackness, but I couldn't see anything. I was sure I heard water dripping straight ahead of me. I couldn't see a thing. I backed out.

Demon scurried in around my leg, disappearing ahead of me. I heard him for a minute or two, before it went silent. I listened for the sound of his panting. There was only the dripping sound water makes falling on to rock.

I could see nothing, and after calling for Demon to come back, I left the cave.

"Demon, come here, boy. Demon, come here," I tried before I left the opening.

My words echoed back at me from what had to be a huge chamber inside the cliff.

I didn't want to risk falling into a crevice I couldn't see. I carefully backed out to the edge of the mouth of the cave. With a torch, I could get a better look at what I found. It required more investigation with the proper equipment to allow me to see where I was going and what I was looking at. I was more curious than ever about what was in the caves.

I stepped out into the sunlight and waited for Demon to reappear. He found something of interest, or the cave was even larger than I imagined. He would return when he was ready. I'd seen all I wanted to see for one day. The mysteries in the caves could wait.

I worked my way back down the side of the cliff to return to camp. Halfway back, Demon caught up and passed me. He was in camp when I got there.

"He's wet," John said. "You guys go swimming?"

"No, I went into a cave about in the middle of that cliff," I said, pointing in that direction. "It had a big chamber inside. I couldn't see anything, but Demon went in and apparently he found some water somewhere inside. He passed me while I was on my way back a few minutes ago."

If Demon found anything of interest on his journey into the cave, he wasn't talking.

Once I had material to make torches, I would see what was in there for myself. I decided it was time to learn all of Paradise Valley's secrets. I thought I might live here one day.

I took the burlap bag I carried with loose rocks I gathered to the wagon. I placed them in the wagon under my seat, putting the shotgun on top. I would take the rocks with me later that week. I'd see what Jack Armstrong thought of them. I collected maybe twenty pounds of rocks that I found laying around inside the mouth of a few caves.

I knew they were rocks. He'd know if there was anything in them worth mining.

That was the week I was riding the sections of land Robby surveyed. I had his paperwork and I wanted to make certain he documented the entire section.

When I stopped at the final section on Robby's paperwork, I looked ahead of me and saw a bit of a rise on the flat land around me. I suddenly had an urge to see what was on the other side. This was off 1st National's land. When I rode to the ridge and I saw what was on the other side, I smiled. As soon as I saw it, I recognized it as John Tanner's Virginia horse farm.

Once more I recognized I took a step that would eventually change everything. I could simply keep my mouth shut and not tell him what I saw, but it's what John was looking for.

Not telling John about it would be the most dishonest thing I ever did. No, I needed to show this piece of land to John. Maybe he wouldn't see it the way I saw it, but I knew that wouldn't be the case. This was John's horse farm. From the river that bordered it, down to the meadows and forests that stretched for miles would be perfect for raising horses.

I sat on Dobbin and just looked down in an even more spacious valley than Paradise Valley. There were only natural borders and no cliffs or rocks, but I knew what it was when I saw it.

Jonn hadn't gone with me. He was going out to watch Samuel hunt with a bow and arrows. I'd been going out with him for a couple of months, and he no longer dropped the bow and arrow while trying to shoot something with it. Each evening, he sat close to me as I went to one of the spots where we always got game.

He'd sit and watch me pick up the bow, put the arrow in place, and knock down whatever I aimed at. It was a big surprise to me that I could hit anything. I hadn't hunted with a bow in ten years. Luckily, I hadn't made a fool of myself in front of Sammy Boy.

I remembered the last hunt I went on with that bow. The last game I took down was human. That came as a surprise too. As Major Meeks and Tall Elk rode down on me, after coming out of the fort intending to come for me, I took two arrows from the quiver. I fired the first one at Meeks, who was on the lead horse. I fired the second arrow at Tall Elk.

I was sure I missed. I was sure that this was my final hunt, but then, Tall Elk fell. I watched Riggs ride over top of him. He made no effort to pull up or swerve to miss that evil Indian.

As I stood my ground, I took no more arrows from the quiver. There wasn't time. They'd be on top of me in no time at all, and then, Meeks horse slowed to a walk. Meeks sat straight and tall in the saddle. The horse turned to the left and I saw the arrow threw Meeks neck. No one could live with an arrow where that one lodged. Why didn't he fall off the horse?

It was his arrogance holding him up.

He killed my brother. I killed him. He wouldn't kill any more Indians. I would certainly be forced to kill more soldiers.

*****

I hadn't thought of Riggs since I left my parents' farm as Phillip Dubois.

He had watched me kill his commanding officer, and he made it possible for me to get away. He told me he would have done exactly what I did if someone killed his brother.

Riggs and I were on opposite sides of a fence we looked across at each other. The soldier had been overwhelmed by what he saw me do, and how I did it.

For this reason, he did not kill me. It was the reason he wanted to help me. As little sense as things often made to me, a cavalry soldier, a sorn enemy of mine, helping me made absolutely no sense to me at all.

All cavalry men weren't anxious to slaughter any Indian they came across. I didn't know that until the day Riggs made my escape possible. In effect, my life had been spared by a cavalry trooper. A soldier who watched me put an arrow through his commanding officer's neck.

It was another thing I had to learn. Many men had lives they found themselves in after taking one step at a time and ending up where they ended up. It was rarely the plan to end up there. You take a step and then another, and there you are. You make the most of it.

How was my life any different than that? A man was responsible for my brother's death. I killed him. Taking that step led me to being Phillip Dubois. I was a wanted man, but not so much as I once was. I had changed. Few people would know I was once Tall Willow.

I met Dan and began my journey east. Meeting Dan sent me further east. By going east, the work I did carried me further and further to the west. One step led to the next, and I was now a few days ride from where my journey away from my people started all those years ago. I was shot, which led me to being reunited with Running Horse, and my journey back to him would soon be at hand.

When I left my parents' farm as Phillip Dubois, I knew I could never be Pawnee again. It was the first step in my journey to being able to be Pawnee again. Thinking of returning to my village one day was unthinkable. I would mean death to them if I went home.

Like with Riggs allowing me to run, my life carried me in a direction I had no plan to go in the day before my brother's death. I ran because I had to run. The longer I ran, the closer I was to returning to being Pawnee. It took all the steps I took to take me in the direction I wanted to go in all along. I was always returning to the life I loved. I never knew it and understanding it was impossible.

How does anyone know which step to take next? Which step will take you to where you want to be?

My next step would carry me back to Running Horse. That is if I lived long enough to take it.

I would if getting shot again wasn't one of the steps necessary to end up where I belonged. I was on the trail back to where my heart is, and I often looked to the northeast and thought about the Indian Chief I loved.

Being shot made me realize a piece of me was missing. It was missing because of a bullet, it was missing because I almost died. It took almost dying to realize what the missing piece was. More accurately, who the missing piece was.

Going back to where I was raised was how I could save Samuel's life. That's where I told John to take me. Because I asked, it's what he did, because John trusted me, even after we all could have been killed because of me.

I took down Major Meeks and Tall Elk with the bow Samuel now hunted game with. It was an irony that didn't come to mind until now. Taking out the bow brought me full circle to why I carried the bow and arrows with me. I couldn't leave them. I couldn't destroy them.

I watched Running Horse craft that bow for me. I could feel Running Horse when I held it.

Had we not found Paradise Valley, had we not heard the gunfire from the 30/30 from the trail, I wouldn't have given the bow a thought. It hadn't been taken out since I bought the new wagon because John Tanner needed more room than the old wagon allowed. Even then, I gave no thought to the bow's history, or mine for that matter.

Well over two years ago, I met John Tanner. I took responsibility for him. I never imagined the settled life I didn't mind was going to take a turn for the worse, because I met John Tanner. That meeting turned out to be one more step on my way home. John became my friend. Samuel was like a son, and when I went home, I didn't know I wouldn't lose them both.

When Running Horse came to my father's farm, I was too busy loving my man to give any thought to anything but the present. Until he rode away, I had no idea what piece was missing, or for how long it had been gone, but my thoughts became more about my future.

Learning about oneself is often the hardest thing. It took me until now to know what was missing from my life. It was a bolt from the blue. I'd known how much I wanted to be with Running Horse all along. It was at the family farm that I realized I couldn't go on without Running Horse. I intended to finally put the missing piece back where it belonged.

Each time I raised the bow and brought down some game, Samuel could only shake his head in amazement. He couldn't hit any living thing. He practiced every day. He hit targets fine, but something about him shooting live animals had him stymied.

I taught him what I knew, but it had been three months since he killed any game. His pride over being a successful hunter was in doubt when he failed to kill anything with the bow.

He never asked to go back to the 30/30. He knew it wasn't an option. This was a safe place for us, and using the 30/30 was a sure way to bring someone here we didn't want or need. No, Sammy Boy was determined to become as good with the bow as he was with the rifle.

Because of his determination, I knew he'd master the bow. Why he couldn't shoot an animal, I didn't know. He hit the center of targets I hung up thirty and forty yards away. It wasn't about his aim. Once he got his first game, he'd be fine, but he hadn't hit any game, and we continued going out together as I shot supper. We had to have meat.

I saw some of myself in Samuel. It reminded me of when I went from hunting with guns to hunting with a bow. It wasn't easy. It was a big difference going from a rifle to a bow.

That was the week I thought I'd go into town to get more supplies. While it was turning colder where we surveyed, the valley remained ten or fifteen degrees warmer, which meant it was more comfortable most of the time. The heat I felt under my moccasins meant the pond directly below the waterfall was warm enough to bathe in year around. It was one more feature that made Paradise Valley paradise.

It was the week I planned to go into town to resupply, before the real winter hit, I wanted to get enough meat to last until I got back. Today I'd do the hunting, and tomorrow I would take John to see what I found that I thought he might take an interest in. He could check it out while I was gone and he didn't work all day.

When I grabbed the bow and two arrows, more confident in my skills by that time, Samuel fell in behind me as we trotted toward the waterfall and an outcropping of rocks that I could see game from, and they couldn't see me.

We perched on a few rocks that overlooked a pond where critters came to drink. I usually had a choice of the kind of game I wanted, because it's where critters liked to drink.

I suppose we'd been there for most of an hour, and Samuel reached for the bow, and he took one of the arrows. He'd aimed and fired before I realized he'd seen game on our right.

Samuel shot an antelope. It was maybe forty or fifty pounds of eatable meat.

"You did it, Sammy Boy. You got us an antelope. Demon can't carry it but you can. We'll skin it and gut it out here," I said as we went to check out the kill.

"Nice shooting, Sammy Boy. You hit it in the heart. He didn't know what hit him. Don't forget to thank his spirit for the gift that will feed us."

Not only didn't I need to worry about Samuel and John not getting enough meat to eat, I could turn the hunting over to Samuel now. I hadn't even seen the antelope before he reached for the bow. He saw better than I did and his aim was true.

He knew he could hunt successfully with a bow now.

I decided to take John to see what I'd found on the furthest edge of Robby's survey. I left time after we'd worked a few hours and I asked John to take a ride with me. As we rode east, we left 1st National's sections we had yet to survey. It was a fifteen minute ride to what I thought would make a wonderful Virginia horse ranch.

"Oh, my," John said.

*****

We sat on a hill a couple of miles from Paradise Valley, and we took it all in. It was even more beautiful the second time I saw it. John was amazed by the perfect valley.

When I first saw it, I was sure John would love it. It was probably one of the most beautiful sections I had seen in my many years as a surveyor. My surveying was done on 1st National's western lands. I saw spectacular vistas, but none more spectacular than this.

John sat still and didn't make a sound. I watched him check the valley below us from the river back to the forest and back to the river.

"It's beautiful. Does 1st National own this?"

"No. We passed off of 1st National Bank land a ways back."

There were two large meadows that ran for over a mile and both ended at a river that was substantial. On the far side of the property was a forest that ran for as far as we could see and we could see for miles.

"Looks like a Virginia horse farm to me," I told John.

"Who owns this?" John asked.

"I don't know, but 1st National owns all the land west of here. I think they can find out easy enough, and you can buy it. It will take a piece of change, but you said you're rich. This property will make you a lot richer, John. No cliffs, no rocks, no gold," I said.

John sat silent for a while.

"I'd go to the courthouse and library if I was back east, but back east the land with the most value is in the way of towns and cities that will be major population points in the future. Cities are too far a part to do that out here. You can put 1st National on it?"

"I'll be going to St Louis once we finish the surveying. I want to buy Paradise Valley. I'll get Dan on buying this section for you. We'll own two of the nicest valleys anyone owns anywhere."

We rode down and John was looking for high ground not too far from the river where he'd build his cabin. It was close enough to have a view of the river, and high enough to not be in the river during the spring rains when most western rivers overflowed their banks.

We returned to Paradise Valley in time to have an early supper and to talk over what goods to get in town when I took the wagon to get the goods to get us through the winter.

"I need to go to St Louis with the paperwork on this survey. I want to buy Paradise Valley. I've never thought I could own Mother Earth before, but I want to own this valley. I've taken the coordinates of this valley and of the valley you want. Dan keeps wanting me to take land as part of my payment for what I do, and he can tell me what I need to do to secure this valley and he'll know what land prices are where we found your valley."

"When do I get to see our new valley?" Samuel asked.

"I'll take you tomorrow," John said.

"Isn't Pop going to town in the morning? I'm going with him to load the wagon for him? I always load up the wagon."

"Well, I'll show you my horse ranch after you guys get back," John said.

"You going to take that bag of rocks to be assayed?" John asked.

"Yes, the bag is under my seat in the wagon. I'll wire Dan while in town and update him on where we are. I'll let him know I'm bringing the paperwork to St Louis. Not before spring though. I won't travel that far in winter. We'll wait for spring and take care of everything in one trip to St Louis. I wouldn't trust this amount of work in the mail, and I want to be sure Dan buys the right property for us."

"Can I go with you, Pop?"

"You do realize we'll be gone for a month or more. I don't know how long it will take to go on horseback. It's going to be a long trip, Sammy Boy."

"If you're going, I want to go," Samuel said.

"You want to leave John here all alone. Who'll do the hunting?" I asked.

"We'll get a deer, cut it up to make it easy to cook, and after smoking it, we'll store it in our cave. He'll have more meat than he knows what to do with. Besides, Demon will be here."

"You have it all figured out," I said.

"He can go. I'll want to start working on a cabin in my valley. It's time I learn to hunt for myself. I've let you guys supply all the meat for years. I'll need to learn to hunt sooner or later and I'll work on it while I work on my cabin."

"You want to build a cabin before you own it?" I asked.

"Yeah and tell Dan to tell George that I've found my horse farm. Have him let Barnaby know I'm alive and well and will send for him in the spring," John said. "You going to send the location of my horse farm."

"No. I don't trust the telegraph operators. They are people hired to work the telegraph key. Some of them are likely to be looking for a chance to make a killing. No, I'll take the coordinates for this valley and yours with me when I take the survey east."

"Who would they kill?" Samuel asked.

"Killing, as in take someone else's goods for themselves. That's make a killing."

"You aren't very trusting these days, are you Phillip?" John asked with a smile.

"Not sense I met up with Trag. He reminded me how fragile life is, and how easy it is to take advantage of others. The land is too valuable to risk it to chance. You think I'd spend a month on the trail just to take Dan the papers from our survey?"

"I don't know where Barnaby is by this time. It's been three years since we left New York, but can you have Dan tell George I've found my horse ranch, and he should tell Barnaby for me if he knows where he is. I told Barnaby I would send for him if I lived."

"He's almost grown by now," I said. "Might be long gone from New York. If I was coming of age in that town, I'd get out of there in a hurry."

"I left when I was sixteen. That's grown to me. Most boys I knew worked by the time they were eleven or twelve. I stayed in school to get enough book learning to be able to operate in a dog eat dog world. I've got land back east that I might need to sell to purchase my horse ranch. I might need to go east to sell the land I own and might never see again"

"If you have the records on it, I can wire it to Dan. The bank can buy it and sell it for you. Dan would make sure everything was done correctly. He'd want a percentage, but it would save you a trip east," I said.

"I have those papers in my carpetbag. You can take it to Dan and see if he'd sell it for me. George has the necessary papers in New York City if Dan has any questions."

"Better yet, 1st National can buy it. He will hold it until he can get the best price for it. That way, you don't need to wait to consolidate your assets in case you need to do that to secure your horse farm."

"You can do that?"

"No, I can't, but I have friends in high places. Dan owes me for years of surveying with only the pay he sends me for expenses. He'll smile when he sees I finally want to own land."

*****

The night before Samuel took the ride with me into Denver, John called me away from the firepit, where I had just stretched the evening meal over the flame.

"Come here a minute," John said.

I walked with him beside the wagon, until Samuel came into view, and we both stopped.

Standing behind the wagon and out of sight, Samuel stood with his back to us. He had the gunslinger model Colt strapped on, and he was practicing his quick draw.

At first, it startled me to see his hand drop next to the holster, and it instantly had the Colt in it. He dropped his hand to let the six shooter fall back into the holster. He drew it again.

After being shot, and apparently not remembering how he was shot, he'd remembered the model of gun he wanted. His speed at the skill of the quick draw hadn't diminished from what I saw. If anything, Samuel was even more proficient than before. I remembered the story he told about practicing his draw with Nester's gunslinger rig.

He did it again and again, while John and I watched. I had a queasy feeling in my gut, but I wasn't going to mention it. Sammy boy was lightning fast.

Whatever Samuel chose to remember or not remember, the original reason he wanted that particular model waist gun hadn't changed. Being shot may not have figured into his reasoning at all, but being shot was a good reason to want to know how to protect yourself.

Like when he hunted, he was totally focused and he didn't know we were there. John and I backed away as Samuel drew and let the Colt fall back into the holster. He drew again, again, and again. He was smooth. He was very quick.

"What do you think, Phillip?"

"I think nothing. The boy's been shot. He didn't like it. He figures if he can draw that six shooter fast enough, he won't get shot again," I said, wanting to set him at ease.

"I don't like it. He's already been shot. A boy his age shouldn't get shot, and he shouldn't be practicing his fast draw. It's an invitation to trouble. You know it as well as I do."

I did know it, but I wouldn't tell John that.

"Tell him to stop. Tell him you don't want him practicing. Take the Colt away from him, John"

John had nothing to say about that. He wasn't going to tell him to stop, and if he expected me to stop him, I was about to disappoint him. Samuel was old enough to make up his own mind about how he wanted to spend his time. I was never a man who liked carrying a waist gun, but Samuel had no such tendency.

If I had known where the steps I was taking would lead to I wouldn't have been so dismissive of John's concerns. It would turn out that we were both right. Samuel had every right to practice with the Colt if it made him feel safer.

It was going to lead us into a lot of trouble.

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"Rocky Road"

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