No one was going to object to the move, no one but Tall Elk, but his complaining really had nothing to do with moving. It was an old complaint no one wanted to hear.

We ate in the lodge of Lit'l Fox and Morning Star that evening. Lit'l Fox originally asked to be allowed to go with us, but Morning Star said that she might fall in love with another Pawnee if Lit'l Fox left her. My brother apologized for withdrawing from the trip, but there were considerations that were beyond his control.

Wasn't love grand!

They wanted to hear about the place where the new village would go. Running Horse claimed it was better than he had words to describe it. Even after a long day riding home, the excitement was still in his voice as we walked and talked near the ponds.

The next day we sat in Medicine Woman's lodge, telling her what we'd found. She asked questions and seemed pleased by what she heard. She would continue to speak in favor of the move, although she didn't think we needed to move this year. Several of our elders were not well, and a move might be the death of them. If we didn't lose anyone during the move, it would be good.

As our elders aged and died, children replaced them. There weren't a lot of children when I arrived in the village, but as the new generation of warriors became adults, they married and their children's laughter and joy filled the village during the day. The voices of children playing between the lodges increased as babies began to walk and talk as a new generation was growing up. These were nice sounds to hear.

I could ride, hunt, and play Pawnee war games as well as any warriors. I did not regard sitting at Running Horse's right as a gift from my lover. I learned how to be Pawnee. I learned my lessons well. The other warriors saw me transform myself into a Pawnee warrior. I could perform as well as any warrior. In the use of a bow, I was almost as good as Running Horse. On hunts it was Running Horse and me who got the biggest bucks more often than anyone else. We'd even kilt ourselves a moose.

No one gave me anything. Being close to Running Horse was of significance, but when I fell behind and couldn't keep up. Running Horse never once reached back to help me along. He and my brother did all they could to encourage me, but I had to make up my mind to keep up, and then, pass other warriors until I could run with Running Horse and my brother.

I was determined to be a good Pawnee. As my leg healed and I grew stronger, I kept up with most boys, as we all grew into manhood. Once I became able to keep up with Running Horse and Lit'l Fox, they made a place for me to run beside them. They were happiest once I could keep up with them.

I cursed my weak white legs and my shortness of breath. I knew I would never keep up with the stronger faster boys. It was up to me to keep up, and pushing myself with every step, I was proudest when I was able to see the boys ahead of me. I didn't need to run out in front of them. What I needed to do was keep up, and keeping up strengthened me even more.

After that, it wasn't easy, but I kept improving, getting stronger, running in the pack, running at the front of the pack. Only when I could keep up did Lone Wolf recognize me. Having the approval of Lone Wolf and Dark Horse didn't make me any faster or stronger, but it allowed me to see a place for me among my brother Pawnee. I had a value all my own. I would be able to help Running Horse in ways that no one was able to help Lone Wolf. He needed to search for the meaning in white man's words. I knew what they meant.

I knew Medicine Woman was more capable that I was, but white men weren't going to negotiate with a Pawnee woman. They'd rather not negotiate with Indians, but to get a foothold they'd expand into major population centers, Indians to needed to agree to get out of the way.

I was least likely to agree to anything white men wanted. I didn't trust them to keep their word, but I wouldn't be the one with the power to agree or disagree. I would offer advice to Running Horse. It would always come with the warning, 'Don't trust them.'

With the blessing of Lone Wolf, I sat at Running Horse's right. It was up to Chief Running Horse, but it didn't hurt to be given permission by the previous chief. Life wasn't a game. It was never easy. Running Horse had trained to be chief. I'd been trained to be the best Pawnee possible. That meant doing what my chief asked.

The fact Running Horse loved me had me wanting to do well. I was least likely to see what was coming, and Running Horse was most likely to know what was coming and where it was coming from. When he spoke, I tried to make sure I understood every word. If I was to advise him, I wanted to hear everything he had to say.

There were plans about what would be taken and what would be left behind, when the time to move rolled around. It wasn't like most of what we needed wouldn't be in and around the place we'd move to, but there were things people were attached to and needed to take. The people in each lodge heard about what was already there and the things that it might be helpful to take along.

A year after Lone Wolf's death, our place in the village was secure. Once we reported to villagers the results of our exploration, the village went back to the usual routine. They'd know in plenty of time when the time to move had arrived.

After having complete privacy for nearly two weeks, being in the middle of village life was disappointing. It was life as usual, but our usual included a lot of holding and kissing. It wasn't something we wanted to share. Most often, it was Lit'l Fox coming for a visit, and he knew everything and he'd seen everything. Nothing surprised him, but from time to time, he surprised us.

Otherwise, we went back to doing the things we frequently did while keeping an eye on the water supply. I suppose no one in the village did take an interest in watching the water level. The new and most popular past time was walking out to the ponds and along the stream after the evening meal.

If Running Horse stopped to kiss me, we heard a couple or two steps around us while we were lost in our overwhelming love for each other. These were the best times of our lives.

Remembering our walks around the lake where the new village would be made us smile. There would be no need for people to step around us. There was a wide open space where villagers could walk around the lake after the evening meal.

It was rainy for the third year in a row.

Medicine Woman told us, "Two or three long rainy seasons will be followed by a dry year. By the end of this year we'll see the stream slow and the ponds will begin to empty."

We really hadn't had long rainy seasons since I'd been in the village. Running Horse didn't remember the time Medicine Woman spoke of. It wasn't the kind of thing you notice while growing up. Each day had its own weather. You adapted to it when you got up.

Medicine Woman kept the memory of the village after Lone Wolf died. She consulted Dark Horse. He had memories that mostly agreed with her. We'd spend one more year in the village, but by the end of the following summer, we'd be ready to move.

There was still meat to hunt this fall. The hunt in the fall was still over a month away, but nothing would keep Running Horse and me off the mountain for our early hunt. The meat stores were getting low, and we'd bring enough back to have plenty of venison until the semiannual hunt.

By mid October Running Horse and I were off to the mountain to hunt. Villagers wished us well as we rode our horses away from our people. They were happy to know they could eat the meat we had freely, because the two of us never failed to bring back three or four hundred pounds of venison on our trips.

No one mentioned a time before Running Horse and me took trips a month earlier than the big hunts. This was Running Horse's idea, once he became chief. The village was always running short of venison a month or two before the hunts rolled around. We'd put an end to any idea the venison might run out.

We'd need less meat on the spring hunt, because we'd carry the surplus meat with us on the move, and there was no point in having too much meat to carry. Small game was plentiful close to the village. It wasn't venison, but it cooked up fine when there wasn't anything else.

Medicine Woman took charge of packing. She remembered the move after the massacre, and how they moved the village then. There was plenty of wood to use in shaping new lodges. They'd send a half dozen men to build the new lodges so there was a place to move into. The people had begun picking out things they'd take along and things they'd leave by the time Running Horse and I were ready to go on our hunt.

October wasn't as cold as it was on the hunt last year. I imagine, it was as cold as I'd ever been when we hunted the year before. We could see our breath while on top, but the winds were less fierce.

Getting away for the first time since the trip to the new village, was refreshing and we stayed close night and day. Being alone on the mountain felt different from when there were six to eight hunters who went with us in spring and fall. There was a quiet that was inspiring.

If you sat and listened you could hear the game coming. Big game moved slow and cautious. If they heard us, they knew where we were. It was a good reason to get in place before it was daylight. Because all animals needed to drink, finding the places where they drank meant a good hunt. Sooner or later they'd show up, and we'd be ready for them. It usually took a couple of days to have the meat we wanted.

As we cuddled in the buffalo robes near the fire, we were able to completely relax. Running Horse had much on his mind, and one thing was meeting his father's brother. That was a solid piece of the plan. We would stop on the far side of the river across from the cabin.

I would initiate the first contact, not knowing how my parents would view their son, the Pawnee warrior. Whatever happened, I would be the one to break the ice. I wasn't looking forward to it, but I wasn't the only one to be considered when it came to Paw. His family hadn't seen him for longer than my lifetime.

"I'm interested in my father's reaction to meeting Dark Horse, Medicine Woman, Lit'l Fox, and his brother's son, Running Horse. I doubt he'd remember you and Lit'l Fox, but Dark Horse and Medicine Woman probably haven't changed that much," I said.

Running Horse was rather talkative about the meeting, until I was telling him what I was interested in seeing. He said nothing for a few minutes, as he held me close to him.

"Not Dark Horse," he finally said to the night or the fire.

I heard him without knowing what he was saying. I understood most of what Running Horse said, even if it seemed to dangle in air with no connection to anything. He didn't clarify and my brain moved on to helping him get me closer to him. It was nice. We'd eaten dried meat once the fire was blazing, and we needed to get in the buffalo robes in the middle of the afternoon. We hadn't hunted the first day and that meant we'd need to start early in the morning and stay for as long as it took to get the fresh meat.


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"The Knowing"

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"Home Sweet Home"

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