We started to eat dinner at my parents' table one night the following week. It was often on Tuesday and Skip came for us on Wednesday morning. Tevo might come on any day of the week. He'd bring a meal ready to eat, once we unloaded it, and besides Tevo's bulk food deliveries, that was our social life.

We went out to go to my parents, and we stayed in for T and Skip to come to us. We both went out to work, but that wasn't that social.

Skip always beamed when he saw Chet and me coming out for a trip to MacDonalds before we headed for the ocean. Skip was there shortly after my mother was off to work at Grossmont School. We never again had to ride around El Cajon looking for Chet.

These days we didn't need to go look for anyone. Anyone was in the seat beside Skip, and they often fussed over which one of them would pay today. I often slipped out of the car, went in to get the goodies, and brought breakfast out as they were still arguing.

"No cheese on yours, Chet. It's one of the two in the bag. I don't know which one. Potatoes in the bottom of the sack, Skip. Be careful, coffee is hot," I said.

"Burn your mouth again, Z," Skip asked me.

"Yeah. Afraid so. They must put it in the cup while it was still boiling."

It was the kind of day when everyone looked out and thought how nice a day at the beach would be. Most days in Southern California were like that. We went to Malibu. It was the home of beautiful people, and Chet and Skip elevated the looks of the people already there.

I wasn't as interested in surfers these days. Chet and I held hands as we waited, while Skip chatted up one surfer or another. Nothing really changed about our surfing trips. I was closer to Chet than I had been to anyone. Surfers didn't get my attention the way they once did. Chet got my attention. He held on to it.

Once we returned from surfing, we were worn out and ready to relax. Some days Skip would stay for a bit, but by the time Chet was ready to shower, Skip knew it was time to go, which gave me a quiet evening of being with Chet.

Thursday morning I was back to work early, and Mr Hitchcock knew I was there a little after seven. I put on my apron and went to work filling the shelves with the extra canned goods I left in the rear corner of the market.

On Thursday Mr Hitchcock took to watching me in a way he hadn't looked at me before. I was three years into my employment there. There had been a few times he could afford a part time worker to help me with stocking shelve. He either didn't work out or the extra money ran out.

*****

The knock on the door took me away from Tarheel Writer, where I was reading the most delicious gay literature. It was sexy without being too sexy, and the story and characters had me.

I wondered who would come knocking at Chet's door at a time he was rarely home?

"Skip!" I said, seeing him at the door. "What a pleasant surprise. Come in."

"I was coming back from El Centro. I decided to stop and see what was up."

We were still chatting when Chet came in from work around midnight. It was like Wednesday, except there were no surfboards involved. Chet liked to take a shower when he came in and I usually showered with him, but we couldn't leave Skip, and two in the shower was a snug fit.

"I guess it's time for me to head home? My parents aren't expecting me to be back tonight, but the guy I went to see wasn't there," Skip said.

"You shall stay with us then," Chet said, sensing Skip was disappointed he hadn't connected with the boy he went to see.

"That would be a little crowded," Skip said.

"You haven't seen our bed," Chet said, and we all retired to the bedroom.

"Maybe Z would rather I not stay," Skip worried.

"We're all friends. Of course you can stay," I said, not sure about this arrangement.

As we arranged ourselves for bed, Chet took Skip in his arms. I took Chet in my arms. While Chet and me would be in for a couple of rounds of sexual play before sleep came around, that wasn't what happened the night Skip stayed over.

Almost as quickly as I had Chet in my arms, was lying down, I became quite sleepy, and I closed my eyes to rest them. The next time I opened my eyes it was daylight and the sun was shining brightly. I was sure I was dreaming, but the clock said it was after ten. I was amazed because I rarely slept that late, and I woke up in the same position I was in when I fell asleep.

Skippy was in Chet's arms and Chet was in my arms. If any of us had gotten up, I'd have awakened immediately if disturbed. There was another odd circumstance that was as confusing as how I fell asleep and slept for so long. There was a strong smell of fresh coffee coming into the bedroom.

I eased myself out of bed and took my morning pee before walking down the hallway to the kitchen. There was a fresh pot of coffee waiting for us, and there were two full bakery bags.

No one had been up and I was certain no one had been to the bakery this morning. Then I saw the note tucked in between the two bags. I could see the T at the bottom of a note I didn't try to read. I knew the bakery bags weren't left for me, but my strength was dwindling. I couldn't hold out for long while I was inhaling the raspberry jelly, pecans, chocolate, apple, and cinnamon smells mingling with the smell of coffee. Oh, man, did I want to open one of those bags.

The mystery was solved. Tevo came to have coffee and sweet rolls with us. He'd obviously seen the scrum in the bedroom, and he left the goodies behind, after making a pot of coffee before he left.

What a find Tevo had been for Chet. After such a horrid childhood, he had a man who treated him like he should have been treated all along. I poured coffee and stirred in cream and sugar. I took a couple of swallows. I'd go back to the bedroom and make one try to talk Chet and Skip out of bed to dig into the goodies, but after that, it was every man for himself.

I sat my cup of coffee down to walk back down the hall. Skip was still in Chet's arms and they hadn't moved. I walked to stand beside the bed.

"Coffee's on. Bakery goods won't wait. If you don't get up, I'm going to have coffee and sweet rolls without you two."

I reached to touch Chet's shoulder and suddenly Skip had a hold of me, and Chet dragged me into the bed as they giggled and I laughed.

They woke up when I got up and were waiting for me to come back. By the time the wrestling finished, the boxers I put on when I got up were gone.

"There's something for you in the kitchen," I finally said in between giggles.

"Oh, Tevo comes some Sundays. He must have brought sweet rolls. I can smell he made coffee, or did you make it? You were gone long enough."

"No, I poured a cup but it was already made. He left a note."

"What does it say?" Chet asked.

"How do I know. I don't read other people's notes," I said.

"Oh, Z, you haven't lived. I always read other people's notes," Skip said. "How do you find stuff out if you don't read other people's mail?"

I laughed at Skip's logic. That sounded like him.

We all went into the kitchen, and true to his word, Skip picked up the note.

"'Sweetness.' Nice start honey child," Skip said. "'Sweetness, nice to see you are with friends. I didn't want to disturb you. Here are some sweets for the sweet, T.' Who might I ask is T?"

"Tevo," I said. "He's Chet's boss. He's like this big black dude, and he's gentle as a Teddy bear. He is the one who got Chet back to El Cajon."

I didn't say too much, not knowing what Chet wanted Skip to know.

"Yes, he did," Chet said. "We are quite close. He's like a father to me."

"I thought you and Z were quite close?" Skip said.

"Different kind of closeness. Z's close as in loving close. I love T in a different way, and before you ask we did have sex. We both like sex."

"Don't we all," Skip said. He opened the bag of pecan clusters and apple cinnamon filled donuts.

*****

Tevo became more sociable once the restaurant was where he wanted it. It was a Wednesday evening, after Skip dropped us off, that Tevo showed up with a trunk full of supplies and one special container that held dinner for three.

"The escargot is an acquired taste," Tevo told me. "Quiche Lorraine needs no introduction and the mushroom caps stuffed with sausage is superb," Tevo bragged as he set each container out on the counter. We put what we liked on our plates and went into the living room to sit and chat.

Only Tevo ate escargot, but I thoroughly enjoyed the quiche and mushroom caps. He brought a loaf of fresh French bread. It had enough butter to swim in and the taste was heavenly.

Chet and I sat on the couch. Tevo sat in one of the easy chairs.

"Chet, I've told you how I feel about you going back up there. I don't know what is in your head, but you've come all the way back and you've done fine at the restaurant. You are well liked, and your tips certainly prove customers like you. You'd do well to consider the risk of the move you want to make. I'm not going to tell you I don't want you to go, but with Z to keep you from getting into anything risky, you'd do well not to stay any longer than you told me you would."

"Z has a birthday next week. He'll be twenty-one. We'll be going to his parents' house. I'll be going with him. We won't go before his birthday, but shortly after that we'll go on Tuesday afternoon. Z has Wednesday off, and we'll be back Wednesday afternoon. I need you to give me directions from Rainbow to Mama Rosa's. I only made the trip once, and I have no memory of it."

"I have no doubt you don't. You were in sad shape that night. Mama didn't know if you'd make it. She's gotten dozens of us clean, Chet, but no one was as far gone as you. It took a couple of days for her to say she could save you."

"Don't remind me. Can you call her to let her know that Tuesday in two weeks I'll be visiting? I need to thank her. Take her a gift."

"If the gift is cash, I'll give you an envelope to carry to her house as well. Do you want to stay over? I can see to it she feeds you from her table if you'd like."

"I'd like. I didn't know of anyone who went there while I was there, that she didn't offer them food," Chet said.

"Yes, Mama cooks many a meal late at night, but if I tell her you're coming, and to save a room for you, she'll have plenty of food for you."

Tevo was more relaxed than I was about our trip north. The conversation wasn't at all tense. Tevo treated Chet's idea with respect. It was his life, and I was going with him, so it wasn't like he had no responsibility to come back home.

As we loaded the containers back into the trunk of Tevo's family car, we all chatted and laughed at ourselves as we got in each other's way. It was when Chet went back inside for the final containers that Tevo took me aside and asked.

"Z, I won't tell Chet what to do. I wouldn't tell you what to do, but you keep an eye on him. If you see anything that alarms you or even makes you uneasy, you tell him to take you home. He'll do it. He loves you. He wouldn't hurt you."

"I'm scared T. I've never felt more frightened about anything I've had to do," I said, and I found myself in the big man's arms.

"I'm frightened to. I believe he needs to do this. He's clean. He's stayed clean for years, but temptation will be all around him at Rainbow. Stick close. Don't let him go off with anyone without you going with him," T said.

T was hugging me when Chet came back. It did make me feel better. I hadn't said anything to Chet about my concerns, but I felt better knowing that T was as concerned as I was. We were still two weeks away from when we'd leave for Los Angeles. I would be ready when it was time, but I didn't like it.

My parents called twice to be sure I'd be there on my birthday. I reassured them that both Chet and I would be there at seven that evening. I was looking forward to it as I looked forward to all the meals we took at my parents' house.

"You're a man today, Z," Chet told me. "You feel any different?"

"No. I feel exactly the way I felt yesterday," I told Chet.

"I didn't know what to get you. I still don't know. How about an all expensive trip to LA and back?"

I didn't smile.

"Wasn't that already the plan?" I asked.

"Told you, I have no idea what I could get you that you'd like."

"You are all I want, Chet. I don't need another thing. I'll have something to give you tonight," I assured him.

It made him laugh.

"And it isn't even my birthday," Chet told me.

*****

My surfboard is a good one. When I most needed freedom, it could set me free. It isn't just free to feel the breeze and the roll of the sea. The smell of salt fresh air amazed me. The waiting kept my mind focused on an empty sea. I know what Zen is. It means at peace. I'm at peace while waiting.

Now, I'm able to hold Chet's hand. We wait together, rising, falling, until we see the wave building, rolling, racing at us. We aren't always able to get up on the same wave. At times we do. I watch my lover's body while he walks the edge of his board. He is a dancer, a tightrope walker, and he is the most beautiful man I've ever seen. He's my man. I'm his.

We had to go to my house on my birthday. It wasn't as bad as it sounds. I liked being home. I liked the way my parents interacted with my lover. Chet seemed fine with it. He laughed easy and he could talk racing with Dad.

There was ice cream, cake, and they sang to me. I could have died. They made Chet sing Happy Birthday. He smiled and sang. I cringed.

My father went out of the dining room and when he came back he brought a most beautiful surfboard with him. I didn't need a new board, but I had one now. I knew who I'd give my old board to. I could only use one.

"We know you love surfing, Zane. I saw this board and it seemed to say, 'Wouldn't Zane love to have me to surf upon? Happy birthday, son."

I didn't know what my parents thought about me surfing, I guess I mentioned Skip took me surfing, and my father talked to Mr Hitchcock a lot. I'm sure Mr Hitchcock spoke of my surfing Wednesdays. Skip had come for me a few Sundays while I was still living at home.

"Very nice. Blue and gold," Chet said, rubbing his hand over the board as if it might be a fine diamond. "Beautiful."

It was a baby blue that swept back and off the rear of the board, where it blended with the white until it was all white, except for golden highlights.

It was a foot longer than the board I had.

We sat around the table eating cake and ice cream. My parents excused themselves and left Chet and me alone after a while. We managed to polish off the ice cream and I put the cover over the cake for later on.

"Let's go upstairs. I need you to hold me for a while. Holding hands is lovely, and there is no one's hand I'd rather hold, but I have it in mind to hold something far more exciting since it's my birthday."

Chet giggled and he followed me to my room. Closing the door behind us, I sat on my bed to look at my man.

"You're a man now," Chet said. "I don't feel like I'm robbing the cradle. I didn't know what to get you."

"Silly boy, I got exactly what I want if you'll come down here where I can get my hands on you."

Chet still stood two steps away.

"I asked Tevo. He has a friend who knew where to get what I had in mind."

"Hush up and come here. I'll show you what a man I am," I said in my deep Lauren Bacall voice.

Chet still stood in front of me.

"Quit stalling, Stud. It's my birthday, you must do everything I ask you to do," I said, as if I had to talk Chet into having sex with me.

"I didn't know what to get you. I thought about it a lot. Tevo knew a guy, and well ..."

Chet took a red jewelry box out of his pocket.

"If I'm overstepping my bounds, please say so," he said, going down on one knee.

He opened the jewelry box to reveal two identical gold bands.

"I had to guess at your size. We can have it fitted properly if need be. They come with a lifetime guarantee. I love you, Z. I've never felt this way before. It seems like this is where my life has been taking me."

He kissed the back of my hand. He kissed my ring finger, slipping the gold band on it. I gulped back tears. I never thought I'd see this day.

"With this ring I thee wed," he said, looking from my hand to my eyes. "To have you and to hold you a lot. I'll keep you in sickness and in health for all the days of our life. That's a promise."

I could hardly see through my tears.

Chet kissed my hand some more.

"It's your turn. Sorry to make you work on your birthday."

I was speechless. He held out the jewelry box for me to take the second ring in my shaking hand.

I had trouble finding his hand, but I got the ring on the proper finger.

"With this ring I thee wed forever and ever come hell or high water, you'll never get rid of me, Buster. You'll always be my man. I'll always be yours."

"I think this requires a kiss to seal the deal, My Love."

Standing up, I threw my arms around his neck, kissing him politely at first, and as my lips warmed up, I kissed him more convincingly. As kisses went, it was a kiss for the ages. I held on tight to keep from floating away. Forever was a long time and we needed to get started.

As we kissed, as if by magic, our clothes ended up around our feet. The only thing to do, get into bed to turn the kisses into a raging fire of love. If there was one thing Chet and I knew how to do, it was make love to each other. We'd had a lot of practice, and tonight we loved a love that would carry us to the end of time.

"I love you so much," Chet said.

"I love you, Chet. I love you. I love you. I love you."

*****

"There is one thing I wanted to say about what we did last night," Chet said. We were both awake. I was in Chet's arms still feeling quite giddy.

"What we did last night. That was our pledge to one another. When the time comes that you want to do it legally, say the word. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me our love is a righteous love. My heart tells me all I need to know, but we'll do it right if you decide you want a formal ceremony."

I thought about standing at an alter with my man and a lot of people watching us seal the deal with a politically correct ceremony. It wouldn't be nearly as intimate and romantic as last night. I'd been told I wasn't good enough all my life. I didn't need anyone's approval now. We were mature adults who didn't need the approval of politicians that love only power and influence.

"I'll pass. The way we did it is plenty good enough for me," I told him.

I turned to put my arms around him. I planted a big kiss on my husband.

"The ring says it all, My Love. Thank you, Chet. It's the best gift ever."

"Better than a surfboard?" Chet asked.

"Now, you're playing dirty pool. You know how much I love surfing," I said.

Chet laughed.

We kissed.